New Growth: Overcoming Damaging & Dead Thoughts

My husband and I planted a weeping cherry tree approximately 3 years ago. Around this time of the year, new leaves begin to bud. This is typically when we notice branches that are not producing, and we know they have died off. We have had to prune these branches every year since planting. Which makes our tree appear as if no growth has taken place.

We’ve learned the benefit of cutting these dead branches immediately. As the tree itself puts energy into keeping the dead branches alive, as well as putting energy into the good branches. Once the dead branches have been removed, the tree can now focus on its overall health of the healthy limbs- not the sick ones too.

I pondered how long I’ve spent a considerable amount of time on my own unhealthy and healthy thoughts. Many days I feel I’m doing well. But then thoughts can overwhelm me within mere moments. Thoughts of doubts, insecurities, anxieties and fears, anger and offenses to name a few. And when I view my thoughts in light of our weeping cherry tree, they are but dead branches I’m trying to keep alive. It’s definitely sickening when revealed in this manner.

It’s not like I, or any other person for that matter, want to think of holding onto something dead or putting all energy into unhealthy thoughts. But it’s no wonder it’s a struggle to try to keep my good thoughts alive and well.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Proverbs 17:22 (NLT)

“Heart” and “inner spirit” here also means spirit or soul (otherwise known as mind, will, and emotions). This isn’t an invitation for both unhealthy and healthy thoughts to dwell. Consider it one or the other. If not careful to remove the unhealthy thoughts from the depths of my soul, then a slow fade of death can choke out all other healthy thoughts. For death (sin) and life cannot coexist.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

Romans 6:6-11 (NLT)

With this in mind, it is no wonder warning is presented to cut off dead branches immediately. I, myself, no longer want to waste anymore energy on these dead thoughts. The thoughts that are originated by the enemy to steal, kill and destroy. I want every ounce of energy, Christ has already gifted to me, to be poured into healthy thoughts and an overall healthy being. After all, I’m already promised that Jesus’ purpose is to give a rich and satisfying life in Him (John 10:10).

So this poses the question, “How can I overcome those damaging, dead thoughts?”. By simply yielding to the Lord. Once those thoughts creep in, I am encouraged to “take captive every rebellious thought and teach them to obey Christ Jesus” (2 Corinthians 2:10:5). And in surrendering every single thing to Him, I can trust that He will prune away that which doesn’t bring me life.

I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. ..Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

John 15:1-2, 4 (NLT)

New healthy leaves (thoughts and livelihood) are sure to bud the more I yield to Him. Rather than have my life appear to be a bigger more fuller tree with dead branches in it, I would much rather allow my life to be pruned and allow my energy to be spent on new growth.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy.

Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)

A Growth Process: Transforming with Knowledge and Understanding

I feel as if I am reliving the same day over and over again. Within that concept lies another underlying problem. I’m also repeating the same things over and over again. “What did I just say?”, “Are you even listening to me?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?” are just a few of those sayings on repeat to two toddlers.

Not only am I reliving this moment by moment, day by day, but I am reliving the frustration and impatience with it all. I figure, they know these things. I’ve modeled these things to them. Yet they still don’t do it! Other words, why can’t they just match what I do and be like me?!

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. The reality is that they’re toddlers. They have a short attention span. They have not yet acquired maturity. They may have knowledge of something, but they have not received the ability to carry out that knowledge. Because the growth process entails taking time. I train, guide, and correct them until they are transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what they can be. And it’ll be a continual process.

This requires more than just knowing something in their mind. They have to understand it with their heart. Take my son for example. He is completely obsessed with construction vehicles, tractors, emergency vehicles, etc. He both knows and understands about them because he loves them so much! On the flip side, he knows about his sister’s kitty obsession, but he doesn’t understand it because it’s not something he thoroughly enjoys.

I realized the implication this had on my walk with Christ. I was striving so hard to match what I knew about Jesus. I was so hard on myself every single time I failed. On my own I could not think, say, do, and behave in such a way that mirrored Jesus. So I loathed in my condemning thoughts. “I’m just never going to be or do enough!”

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. I’m not meant to match Jesus, to think, say, do, and behave all in my own efforts. Only, I live through Him. I love how The Passion Translation says it like this:

“The light of God’s love shined within us when he sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through him“.- 1 John 4:9

I was, then, reminded of the account of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with His disciples (Matthew 14:13-21). At this point, the disciples knew Jesus could perform miracles. Jesus had modeled miracles before their very eyes. Then, in the very next chapter, (Matthew 15:32-39) Jesus calls His disciples to feed a different 4,000. Their response? “Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?” [-Seriously!] Sounds familiar, right?

The reality is, just like those disciples, I have not fully figured it all out. I still have to attend to Jesus. I still have maturity to acquire in Him. And while I may have knowledge of Him, I have to allow Him to help me carry out that knowledge. It’s done by gaining that understanding through deep revelation within my heart that only He can provide.

“These people honor me only with their words, for their hearts are so very distant from me. They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.” Then Jesus turned to the crowd and said, “Come, listen and open your heart to understand.”– Matthew 15:8-10 (TPT) [emphasis mine]

And it’s a growth process (aka: sanctification). He trains, guides, and corrects me as I surrender to Him and His word. Moment by moment, day by day…

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

…until I’m transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what I can be in Him.

But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (NLT)

No longer do I have to feel frustrated and impatient when my children don’t follow through with my instruction or perform to meet my expectations. Nor do I have to feel frustrated and impatient with myself when I don’t follow “having a mind like Christ” or performing like “Christ lives in me”. That type of thinking leads to striving and results in condemning thoughts. Right now, I surrender all those expectations.

I thoroughly enjoy the word of God and love Him- just as my son loves his machines! Which means I have the ability to both know and understand who Jesus is in me. I can trust His sanctifying work that is declared in Galatians 2:20, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

To my children, to myself, and to anyone who can relate to my circumstances: “Come, listen and open your heart to understand”.

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The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.- 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV).

Casting Oneself in Love and Casting Out Fears

The winter blues has me missing warmer weather and the outdoor activities that accompany it. One of my favorite summer pastimes is a family fishing day. Our family of four would regularly pack up to spend a few hours at our local reservoir.

My husband and son would identity their best spot and set up their fishing rods. My daughter and I would locate the nearest bench and watch from uphill. Both enjoying the scenery and supporting their efforts from slightly afar.

My husband spent countless times showing our son how to cast the fishing line. At times, he modeled it using his own pole. Other times, he cast our sons line for him. And the rest of the times, our independent toddler opted to cast the line himself. Often, getting it caught in the weeds on the bank.

I can’t say that much fishing was truly had. As a spectator, it both tickled and frustrated me to witness. I often wanted to take the matter into my own hands. But I now understand that the learning experience for our son was a integral part of becoming skillful for later on in life.

I see how I relate to my toddler in a spiritual sense. I want to be so independent and say, “I’ve seen this done before, I can handle this.” Then, I cast all my efforts into my circumstances. And most often, it results in me getting tangled up in life’s weeds. Any spectator would be both tickled or frustrated to watch my efforts.

Nearly every time this entanglement happens, I become all too fearful. Look at the mess I’ve made. Can you help me out, Lord? Where are you? And yet He’s right there with me. Just as my husband is close by our son’s side. Waiting patiently and ready to help.

The Holy Spirit reminds me; look at the model of Jesus and how He cast Himself in love to others- in life and in death. He is the greatest example and points us back to our perfect Father. 

[Jesus speaking] I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. (John 13:15 NLT) Since you are children of a perfect Father in heaven, you are to be perfect like him.” (Matthew 5:48 TPT)

And how can one be perfected like our heavenly Father? By becoming the image of Him, which is love.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. (1 John 4:9-10, 16‭-‬17 NLT)

The Holy Spirit also reminds me what to do when I’ve gotten myself tangled up in fears; give it all over to the holy One. He is love. He is perfect. And He will cast your fearful circumstances far away from you. 

Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.. (1 John 4:17‭-‬18 NKJV)

The combination of following Jesus’ modeled example, God’s perfect love, and casting away our fears can be interwoven in the following guideline: It is written. 

By casting my self in His love, I am to take His word and put it into practice. Whether in speech, in actions, in behaviors. Whether I think I have it all figured out, or I don’t. Whether I make the cast and get tangled up in life’s circumstances. I can trust that each experience is an integral part of becoming skillful for later in this life. But only because my heavenly Father is always and forever present. And His helpfulness to my efforts points to His goodness, greatness, and glory. 

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God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.- Psalms 46:1‭-‬3‭, ‬10‭-‬11 NLT

A Word for the Year: Reflection and Resolution

2019. The first time I jumped on the Word for the Year bandwagon. In December 2018, I felt such a passionate fire in my heart to declare arise as my word for 2019. And more specifically to shift my purpose to Wake up! (Romans 13:11) and Go! (Mark 16:15).

I was so focused on fulfilling calling and purpose for God’s kingdom that I took this to heart. I thought I would spend 2019 writing a book entitled ‘Arise: Wake Up and Go’.

Unfortunately, like many times in my life, I start projects with such zeal. I continue with determination when the going gets tough. Then, once I’ve had enough of certain pressures I, most often, don’t finish my purposed tasks. Much like this book’s manuscript.

What I originally intended with this book became snuffed out by doubts. It tripped me up by wondering if I really understood my calling and purpose with clarity. I became too sidetracked by distractions. I felt a heaviness of daily frustrations and quickly became overwhelmed.

I felt like a failure with my literal interpretation of my Word for the Year. It had seemed as though the word was lost on me. However, I had previously purposed within my heart to accomplish something in full- from start to finish. I internalized my new year’s resolution to read through the Bible in a year. Midway through the year, I almost gave up as I dwelt upon my heart motives. I knew my heart was in the wrong place as I attempted to complete this personal challenge to prove something to myself. Although I persevered, I felt disappointed in myself and nearly depressed.

Until today. I reflected upon this year’s journey with gratitude in my heart. And I found that God did, in fact, show up BIG in my life this year. He’s merciful. He’s gracious. He’s faithful. He’s loving. And He’s oh, so good. 

1) In determining to write my book, I was led to forgive two crucial persons that have impacted my life. I particularly held onto [over two decades each] of hurt and grudges from our relationships together. It cascaded into uncovering several years of suppressed pains, from and against, other certain peoples. Those of which I didn’t know we’re hidden in my heart. More forgiveness flowed.

Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness.  -Luke 11:35 (NLT)

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. -Matthew 6:14‭-‬15 (NLT)

2) As a consequence of forgiving, my heart began it’s transformation to healed. God’s light shone upon areas of my heart that needed further repentance (perfectionism, control, striving). I found freedom from pursuing worldly affirmations and approval. And I learned to become better acquainted with God’s heart.

Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah.
Acts of the Apostles 3:19‭-‬20 (NLT)

3) In dedicating myself to reading the Word, I saw how God grew me with deeper revelations than I have ever experienced in my lifetime. He demolished lies I often believed, such as common “worldly wisdoms”. He transformed thoughts of Who I believed Him to be. I once thought He was out to punish me for every wrong choice I made (which is A LOT). But instead of punishing me for my wrong heart motives in reading the Word, He proved Himself faithful with the gifts of growth, help with perseverance, and deeper understanding of Truth.

But the Lord Yahweh is always faithful to place you on a firm foundation and guard you from the Evil One. Now may the Lord move your hearts into a greater understanding of God’s pure love for you and into Christ’s steadfast endurance.
2 Thessalonians 3:3‭, ‬5 (TPT)

I’m so grateful for this year. God truly beckoned me to arise. To Wake up! from a religious slumber. Of going through the motions of life while proclaiming to be a Christian, but harboring grudges and unforgiveness in my heart. He asked me to Go! and do the hard things that were needed to be done for deeper revelations and transformations.

Because isn’t that what any of us are called and purposed to do? To love Him with our lives, showing utmost obedience to Him, in order to bring glory to His name. He has been, and will continue to be, faithful to point all my failures and frustrations back to Him, His goodness, and what He has done.

I look forward to what I feel deep in my heart is for 2020. After prayerfully considering a word for the year, my heart is wide open and ready for renewal. And of course, to shout and proclaim glory to His name along the way!

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“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”- Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)

Persevering with the Faith of an Infant Child

What is one thing you’re facing, right now, that seems scary to you? For my ten month old little girl, it’s our vacuum. Obviously, she cannot tell me that by her words. But when the vacuum gets rolled out of our closet, hysteria ensues.

I usually place her in the room next to me so that she can be distracted by toys and still see me near. But those distractions hardly ever work. She cries at the sight of the vacuum, and she does not stop until one of two things takes place. Either I put that vacuum away, or I carry her throughout this routine.

Yesterday, I was experiencing some excruciating shoulder pain which prevented me from carrying her. Thus, leaving me with the only other option: letting her cry until I was done.

As I was vacuuming, something about this painstaking event astounded me. Every single time I put her in a safe and fun-filled environment, she abandoned it to crawl toward me.

With a deep, red face and stream of tears she pushed past her fear of that big, noisy vacuum. All to be held by me. She had faith bigger than her fear. She knew I was the source of her comfort.

I admired her perseverance as I repeatedly witnessed this act. I pondered about previous circumstances in my life that were certainly scary. I often focused on my fears and the results only amplified my weaknesses. I made attempts to withdraw from it by cowering. I recall wanting to avoid it by running in another direction. What’s more, I have disregarded my faith by doubting, God, could even be near.

It is inevitable. There will be times in my life when I will face scary circumstances.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side… he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.- Matthew 14:22-24

Sometimes when good comes my way, my mind still perceives my surroundings as something to fear.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.- Matthew 14:25-26

But I have one of two choices in which I can place my faith: Upon my physical feelings which magnifies my fears. Or upon my heart believing the One Who helps me persevere. Then with my eyes focused on Jesus, I can hold out my arms requesting Him to carry me.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.- Matthew 14:27-29

Yes, fear will continue to knock- “My circumstances are bigger than me!”

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”- Matthew 14:30

Yes, fear will continue to mock- The voices in my mind can be noisy!

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”- Matthew 14:31

I stopped myself to wonder, “Do I really believe that God is Who He says He is, and that He will do what He says He will do? Do I perceive my fears to be bigger? Or is my faith focused on God, Who I know is bigger?

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”- Matthew 14:32-33

On the outside I may not appear to have it altogether. Even still when I encounter scary circumstances, my face may be deep red with streams of tears running down. But in my heart I’m choosing to believe God for His word.

I can push past my fears with perseverance. Even now, I look for God’s face. He’s my familiar, Heavenly Father. I am promised He carries me. I am promised His comfort. Through a seemingly ordinary vacuuming routine, I learned all it takes is having the faith of an infant child. 

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“‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”- Isaiah 41:10 NASB