New Growth: Overcoming Damaging & Dead Thoughts

My husband and I planted a weeping cherry tree approximately 3 years ago. Around this time of the year, new leaves begin to bud. This is typically when we notice branches that are not producing, and we know they have died off. We have had to prune these branches every year since planting. Which makes our tree appear as if no growth has taken place.

We’ve learned the benefit of cutting these dead branches immediately. As the tree itself puts energy into keeping the dead branches alive, as well as putting energy into the good branches. Once the dead branches have been removed, the tree can now focus on its overall health of the healthy limbs- not the sick ones too.

I pondered how long I’ve spent a considerable amount of time on my own unhealthy and healthy thoughts. Many days I feel I’m doing well. But then thoughts can overwhelm me within mere moments. Thoughts of doubts, insecurities, anxieties and fears, anger and offenses to name a few. And when I view my thoughts in light of our weeping cherry tree, they are but dead branches I’m trying to keep alive. It’s definitely sickening when revealed in this manner.

It’s not like I, or any other person for that matter, want to think of holding onto something dead or putting all energy into unhealthy thoughts. But it’s no wonder it’s a struggle to try to keep my good thoughts alive and well.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Proverbs 17:22 (NLT)

“Heart” and “inner spirit” here also means spirit or soul (otherwise known as mind, will, and emotions). This isn’t an invitation for both unhealthy and healthy thoughts to dwell. Consider it one or the other. If not careful to remove the unhealthy thoughts from the depths of my soul, then a slow fade of death can choke out all other healthy thoughts. For death (sin) and life cannot coexist.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

Romans 6:6-11 (NLT)

With this in mind, it is no wonder warning is presented to cut off dead branches immediately. I, myself, no longer want to waste anymore energy on these dead thoughts. The thoughts that are originated by the enemy to steal, kill and destroy. I want every ounce of energy, Christ has already gifted to me, to be poured into healthy thoughts and an overall healthy being. After all, I’m already promised that Jesus’ purpose is to give a rich and satisfying life in Him (John 10:10).

So this poses the question, “How can I overcome those damaging, dead thoughts?”. By simply yielding to the Lord. Once those thoughts creep in, I am encouraged to “take captive every rebellious thought and teach them to obey Christ Jesus” (2 Corinthians 2:10:5). And in surrendering every single thing to Him, I can trust that He will prune away that which doesn’t bring me life.

I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. ..Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

John 15:1-2, 4 (NLT)

New healthy leaves (thoughts and livelihood) are sure to bud the more I yield to Him. Rather than have my life appear to be a bigger more fuller tree with dead branches in it, I would much rather allow my life to be pruned and allow my energy to be spent on new growth.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy.

Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)

Freedom to Believe: Reviewing a Case on Trial

I have quite the confession to make. I have been living a lie. At first, I was stopped in my tracks. I did a double take. I even raised an eyebrow.

My heart was pressed with the question, “Do you love yourself?”. Immediately, I thought, “How silly. Of course I love myself.”. But then the question persisted. And I realized my answer was actually a resounding, “NO!”.

I love God and love others well. So, it appeared that I had loved myself. But even I was fooled.

I’ve long carried around fake ID’s that made it appear as if I loved myself. Those ID’s were labeled ‘Perfectionist’ and ‘Controller’. I thought that being lovable could only be acheived by striving for perfectionism in ‘doing’ . I believed that if I could just control situations, outcomes, and even other people, then I would have value and be enough.

Except every single day- actually, all day long- I was beating myself with these lies. Because I could never achieve those expectations I placed upon myself. I was a failure at being a perfectionist. I was a failure at being in control. Therefore, I constantly told myself, “I am a failure.”

Even more, I blamed everyone else for those unmet expectations. ‘If only you could see how hard I’ve worked to make this as (close to) perfect as I could. If only you would just listen to my advice and follow what I know is best.’ I was infuriated with those people on the reciprocating end of my relationships. ‘If they don’t value my efforts, they must not love me’. Therefore, ‘How can I even love me?’.

I have spent many days crying from the hurt and anger. Until I finally chose to pay close attention to the right insight. I had to stop interrogating everyone else and myself.

I finally got it in my mind that perfectionism and control are not expected from God. Therefore, I should never place those false expectations upon myself. I had to bring those fake ID’s under the interrogating lamp. I had to look into the mirror to see the real enemy looking back at me.

In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.- 2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV

I didn’t love myself. So, how could God truly love me? I didn’t fully believe. I was an unbelieving believer. Except, there is no such thing. Either I was going to believe or I was not.

I decided I was going to believe. And in order to do that I had to review the case of the real criminal who was already put on trial long ago:

• Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made…- Genesis 3:1 ESV
• The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.”- Job 1:7 ESV
• …your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.- 1 Peter 5:8 ESV
• The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…- John 10:10 ESV

Next, I reviewed the Word (Truth) that has come forth from Jesus:

• Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.- John 14:27 ESV
•  …I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.- John 10:10 ESV
• I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.- John 14:6 ESV
• As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.- John 15:9‭, ‬11 ESV

I have chosen to believe (in full) Jesus’ words and works on the cross, “It is finished” (John 19:30). The case has been closed. Through His sacrifice, He made salvation and freedom possible. I have an Attorney, Jurer, and Judge through the Holy Spirit, Christ Jesus, and God Almighty. Yes, the entire rest of the courtroom is on my side (Romans 8:31-39). In fact, those people on the reciprocating end of my relationships are not against me. And I do not even have to be against myself.

I no longer have to be held hostage to those condemning fake ID’s of ‘Perfectionist’ and ‘Controller’. In fact, I “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we [I] take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.- (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). They have been exposed and disposed of. I thank God that Christ gave me a new ID when I accepted Him into my life.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.- 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV.

I choose to believe. I choose to live free as a new creation. I choose to love God, love others and love myself. In that order; yet all at once.

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I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.- Galatians 2:20‭-‬21 ESV

 

Divine Appointment

Recently, I celebrated another birthday. 31 years to be exact. My husband asked me what I wanted as a gift, but I hadn’t thought much about it. I mean, we just had a baby less than two months ago. My mind has been focused on nourishing and care taking. My birthday was the least of my priorities!

However, his persistence caused me to ponder. I recognized that I wasn’t in need of anything. I joked, “I really could use a good massage”. Then I realized, maybe I wasn’t joking at all! I really wanted a good massage, as I had been experiencing some tightness and pain in my right shoulder.

It eventually dawned on me that a friend from my church is certified in therapeutic massage and bodywork. So, I called her up to schedule an appointment. Little did I realize that my session would be more than just a physical intervention. Instead, it was a divine appointment-meant to spiritually intervene and heal my soul.

Upon beginning, I apologized to her for sweating so badly. She replied by saying that I need not apologize as my body is a temple of the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19). I’ve heard that scripture numerous times in my life. However, it never resonated more to me than it did in that moment. I meditated upon those words. In combination with the therapeutic massage and her welcomed prayers, the Holy Spirit had given me some revelations about my temple.

I saw three versions of myself in different rooms of my body’s temple. These rooms each represented relationships:

The first version walked through the threshold of a room titled, ‘Unforgiveness’. The walls were enveloped with ‘taking offenses’ and ‘holding grudges’. I had specifically taken offense to a friend who spoke an ugly lie about me. I instantly held a grudge against her. Anytime I heard her name I cringed inside. And as a result, I had a hard time forgiving her.

The second version walked through the threshold of a room titled, ‘Anger’. The walls were concealed with ‘spiteful thoughts’ and ‘sharp words’. I was reminded of a loved one that I’ve known throughout her lifetime. Over the years, situations developed that made my anger intensify more toward her. Every time I talked about her with someone else, I generated spiteful thoughts and spewed sharp words.

The third version walked through the threshold of a room titled, ‘Control’. The walls were masked with ‘perfectionism’ and ‘high expectations’. I discovered how I deprived a loved one of his control because I always tried to control all matters. I agonized over perfectionism and high expectations in an attempt to magnify myself and be in control.

Once I entered these rooms, the doors were locked behind me from the outside. And, I was holding its keys inside. I could see myself screaming, begging to be let out. So, I began to pray within, “God I surrender all of my strongholds to you”. Those “rooms” were indeed my strongholds; “anything on which one relies”. I relied on the unforgiveness, anger and control, instead of relying on God. I clenched the keys that belong to the rooms of my temple, instead of handing over the keys to the Holy Spirit.

With the help of my friend’s therapeutic massage, and her prayers joined with mine in spirit, I felt healing from within and peace. I left that day feeling changed. I knew I had made a choice to be obedient to the Word of God.

I am called to forgive. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts..- Colossians 3:12-15 (NLT)

I am called to throw off anger. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received.. Then the God of peace will be with you.- Philippians 4:8-9 (NLT)

I am called to give up control. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.- Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

Upon surrendering, I acknowledged that I wholeheartedly rely on God. I handed over the keys of my temple to the Holy Spirit. Thus, I received His promised peace.

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“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”- Romans 8:5‭-‬6 (NIV)

Pointing Fingers

Why is it that the people I’m closest with are the ones I hurt the most? I seem to have this tendency of becoming frustrated very easily. I’ll point fingers at so-and-so. I’ll accuse, I’ll blame, I’ll criticize.

Out of frustration, I can become angry, bitter, and even speak ill about those whom I love. I can’t say that I’m proud of this. It’s just that in the heat of the moment I simply lose control of my emotions.

Then recently, an old saying began to replay over and over in my mind. “When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you.” Just maybe, okay truthfully, those accusations, blames, and criticisms are somewhere hidden in me.

I can’t help but wonder why I put myself up on that pedestal. The one that proclaims I’m so much better than they. When, realistically, my behaviors- as a result of frustration- only proves I’m no more righteous than they.

I had a very recent encounter with a week-long battle of anger, bitterness, and slandering the ones that I dearly love. This type of behavior only yielded the same reactions from my loved ones. I had to do something to change this. And fast.

I prayed. I humbled myself. And my answer was one of those extreme encounters with God that lead me to a greater revelation. His revelation. Humility picked me up off my pedestal and knocked me to my knees.

That old saying that kept repeating in my mind was not a new concept to God. In fact He’s the original author of it:

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.”- Matthew 7:1-2 (NLT)

Its true. When I accuse, blame, and criticize, the same will be returned to me. I quickly recognized my wrongs as sin. I confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. But I knew this was more than just an “okay, you’re good to go!” This was a real matter of a heart change that needed to take place.

The only hope for that change was surrounding myself in truth. The word of God. It’s the blueprint for all of life’s circumstances. And my change of heart was found in Ephesians 4:29-32, 5:1-2 ::

• I must quit speaking ill will and only use words that edify those around me. Not just the ones I love the most, but even my enemies (Matthew 5:43-48) too! “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”
• I must stop living a life that points fingers at others. This not only offends them, but God as well. Upon doing so, I am guaranteed grace to overcome- by the same God who gives me His grace and salvation. “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”
• I must not dwell upon those frustrations that ultimately lead me to accuse, blame, and criticize. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.”
• I must confess and ask for forgiveness from my sins. The same blessings I receive from Jesus after I’ve done wrong is to be projected from me unto others. “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

This revelation reminded me that God so loves everyone in this world, not just me. And, yes, I am esteemed, favorited, and beloved- but so are they. We are all His sons and daughters. I must “Imitate God, therefore, in everything [I] do, because [I am one of] his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.” 

Simply put, I must walk in the way of love. 

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“And so, dear friends, ..make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight.”- 2 Peter 3:14 (NLT)