Living in Freedom and Flow: A Gift from God

I went downtown to get a cup of coffee during some alone time with my current reading book. On my drive back home, I felt this urge to go a different route. Instead of turning toward my road to head home, I drove beyond. This route eventually led me to a familiar, favorite nature spot.

I decided to walk a path I had previously taken before. But there was something different about this particular experience. I had no other distractions or agendas. And I had a call upon my heart to respond.

Straight ahead of me was the sight and sound of rushing water. I paused to take in the wonder and awe of it through my senses. As I watched, I made a mental note of four interesting attributes of these waters.

First, I saw small waves which surged, like having short bursts of energy. Then, I observed smooth waves which seemed to gently glide along. Next, I watched as these waves pooled together on the far side, collecting in a spiral. Finally, the waters rushed towards some rocks, crashing into them like a harsh tempest storm.

Instantly, I felt a bond with these waters, deep within my soul. This journey called life seems to have such similar attributes. Sometimes I can face my circumstances with surges of energy. Once my heart feels safe and content, I gently glide along. As if my days are like smooth sailing.  Then, something pulls my attention causing my heart and head to spiral out of control. Before I know it, I’m rushed into circumstances by a tempest storm and crashing into life’s obstacles.

The thought that life’s circumstances seem to occur in this repetitive cycle overwhelms me. But as I continued to watch these waters, a deeper call pointed out there’s something more.

No matter what the circumstance, the waters did not have a natural inclination to resist. In fact, the commonality amongst every attribute was summed up as this: freedom and flow. This experience so profound united my understanding of living life according to the Spirit of the Living God.  

FREEDOM: 

Let me be clear, the Anointed One has set us free—not partially, but completely and wonderfully free! We must always cherish this truth and stubbornly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past.– Galatians 5:1 TPT [emphasis mine]

FLOW:

Then on the most important day of the feast, the last day, Jesus stood and shouted out to the crowds— “All you thirsty ones, come to me! Come to me and drink! Believe in me so that rivers of living water will burst out from within you, flowing from your innermost being, just like the Scripture says!” Jesus was prophesying about the Holy Spirit that believers were being prepared to receive…– John 7:37‭-‬39 TPT [emphasis mine]

In contrast, living life according to my flesh causes me to resist. And I realized that this resistance happens no matter what good or bad comes my way. Whether I experience loss, or a gift. Whether I feel despair, or have reason to hope. Whether I am deep within sorrow, or overcome with joy. Because my natural tendency is to push away that which has been given.

This resistance is a result of the life of sin and death. But I believe in who Christ is and surrender myself to what He has done. As a child of God, I receive the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in my life. Meaning, this gift of freedom and flow is mine for the taking.

This is available to me even in the midst of surges, smooth sailing, spirals, or storms. It’s a blessing during both the good and the bad. And because of this gift, I choose to give and live in such a way that personifies this outpouring- sharing with others this same freedom and flow.

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So now the case is closed. There remains no accusing voice of condemnation against those who are joined in life-union with Jesus, the Anointed One. For the “law” of the Spirit of life flowing through the anointing of Jesus has liberated us from the “law” of sin and death. For God achieved what the law was unable to accomplish, because the law was limited by the weakness of human nature. Yet God sent us his Son in human form to identify with human weakness. Clothed with humanity, God’s Son gave his body to be the sin-offering so that God could once and for all condemn the guilt and power of sin. So now every righteous requirement of the law can be fulfilled through the Anointed One living his life in us. And we are free to live, not according to our flesh, but by the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit!- Romans 8:1‭-‬4 TPT

Persevering with the Faith of an Infant Child

What is one thing you’re facing, right now, that seems scary to you? For my ten month old little girl, it’s our vacuum. Obviously, she cannot tell me that by her words. But when the vacuum gets rolled out of our closet, hysteria ensues.

I usually place her in the room next to me so that she can be distracted by toys and still see me near. But those distractions hardly ever work. She cries at the sight of the vacuum, and she does not stop until one of two things takes place. Either I put that vacuum away, or I carry her throughout this routine.

Yesterday, I was experiencing some excruciating shoulder pain which prevented me from carrying her. Thus, leaving me with the only other option: letting her cry until I was done.

As I was vacuuming, something about this painstaking event astounded me. Every single time I put her in a safe and fun-filled environment, she abandoned it to crawl toward me.

With a deep, red face and stream of tears she pushed past her fear of that big, noisy vacuum. All to be held by me. She had faith bigger than her fear. She knew I was the source of her comfort.

I admired her perseverance as I repeatedly witnessed this act. I pondered about previous circumstances in my life that were certainly scary. I often focused on my fears and the results only amplified my weaknesses. I made attempts to withdraw from it by cowering. I recall wanting to avoid it by running in another direction. What’s more, I have disregarded my faith by doubting, God, could even be near.

It is inevitable. There will be times in my life when I will face scary circumstances.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side… he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.- Matthew 14:22-24

Sometimes when good comes my way, my mind still perceives my surroundings as something to fear.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.- Matthew 14:25-26

But I have one of two choices in which I can place my faith: Upon my physical feelings which magnifies my fears. Or upon my heart believing the One Who helps me persevere. Then with my eyes focused on Jesus, I can hold out my arms requesting Him to carry me.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.- Matthew 14:27-29

Yes, fear will continue to knock- “My circumstances are bigger than me!”

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”- Matthew 14:30

Yes, fear will continue to mock- The voices in my mind can be noisy!

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”- Matthew 14:31

I stopped myself to wonder, “Do I really believe that God is Who He says He is, and that He will do what He says He will do? Do I perceive my fears to be bigger? Or is my faith focused on God, Who I know is bigger?

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”- Matthew 14:32-33

On the outside I may not appear to have it altogether. Even still when I encounter scary circumstances, my face may be deep red with streams of tears running down. But in my heart I’m choosing to believe God for His word.

I can push past my fears with perseverance. Even now, I look for God’s face. He’s my familiar, Heavenly Father. I am promised He carries me. I am promised His comfort. Through a seemingly ordinary vacuuming routine, I learned all it takes is having the faith of an infant child. 

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“‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”- Isaiah 41:10 NASB

No Longer Caught In Between: Finding Freedom

Yesterday was Good Friday. And it is a holiday which represents the remembrance of Jesus’ crucifixion and death on the cross. Although for me, I do not only reflect upon that event just one day of the year. I’m constantly reminded of Jesus’ sacrifice that took place on that day.

Like most anyone, I have experienced circumstances in my past that caused hurts I have long held onto (unforgiveness). I have committed acts of disobedience which caused me to sin against myself or others. Even now, I have daily struggled in the fight against believing lies within my mind (strongholds).

So, there I remained. Caught in between.

I have lingered upon the wrongs done and the sacrifice Jesus gave in order that my wrongs could be made right. And yet I have felt stuck. Not just yesterday on Good Friday. But, in the totality of all my yesterdays.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.- Ephesians 2:1-3

That is, until today. The day in between the observation of Jesus’ sacrifice and the hope offered in Jesus’ resurrection, as celebrated tomorrow on Easter day.

That’s when it happened. The realization that Jesus is already resurrected struck my spirit. I mean, I already knew it to be true. But, here in between the remembrance of it all, I realized I had indefinitely stayed stuck focusing on Jesus’ death. Every time I have committed a wrong I thought to myself, “Jesus died for you to be made right.” And so, I have lingered upon death. I beat myself up in my mind over and over again. Stuck. Sinning again and again. Caught in between.

Today I was reminded of Jesus’ words on the cross, “It is finished” (John 19:30). All my transgressions from yesterday, today, and in any of my tomorrows. Finished. Death, where is your sting? Because the fact is- even on this Saturday in between these observances- Jesus is alive! (Revelation 1:18). He has already resurrected– which means rising again or raised to life again– and has ascended into glory.

Let me say it once more for emphasis; JESUS IS ALIVE! That means since I have handed over myself and my transgressions to Him, nailing those wrongs to the cross, drowning them in the blood He poured out for me (and for you), and dying of myself- I am raised to life again, too! No, I am not stuck. No, I am not caught in between.

because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.- Ephesians 2:4-7

I never had to be caught in between. But, it was in that place I was deceived by the enemy. It has been, and always will be, his mission to twist the words of the Lord. He seeks to keep God’s creation stuck in this sin-soaked world. However, the pivotal revelation that brought me from dwelling upon death to reveling in resurrection is found in true freedom.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.- Romans 8:1-2

God has raised me to life again! And, praise be to God, it is true for you too! Resurrection has already taken place. It is found in believing that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is living inside of you! (Romans 8:11).

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The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord…- 1 Corinthians 15:56-58 (NIV)

Choosing to Love: An Eye-Opening Revelation

I sat down to complete an online training course. Since I am certified in speech-language pathology, I am required to complete trainings as part of certificate maintenance. Little did I realize that this time-consuming obligation would be an eye-opening revelation.

The training was focused on shaping negative thinking toward students with disabilities. How I, as an SLP, could help students as a whole. This training began with a warm-up in hopes to show the trained professional how they, too, may perceive others with negative views.

What followed were a series of eight photos. Every two would compare someone vs someone else. We were, then, advised to write our feelings about the individuals shown. Whether those feelings were positive, negative, or neutral.

I was appalled by the negative thoughts I assumed about some of these individuals. Although it’s true that culture, society, religious beliefs, and the like have influenced some of these viewpoints. However, what alarmed me the most was realizing these people have their own voice, motives, and experiences that have made them to be who they are. Who am I to judge just by how they look in a photo?

 

God reminded me of His truth which solidified this conviction;

..The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

In that moment, I had the greatest revelation of the love that God has for all mankind.

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16 NLT

I read and re-read this great love account.

1) God loved the world- The word world referenced here means the inhabitants of the earth, the human race. Not just those whom I personally have a positive viewpoint towards. And thanking God that He does love us even now. Despite all that I/we have said or done.

2) He gave His one and only Son- ..He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. -Romans 8:3 NLT

3) so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.- It is not safe for me to assume I know what a person believes because from the outside it appears as if they “have it altogether”. It’s also not safe for me to assume someone doesn’t believe because their outward appearance is different from my personal convictions.

The profound sacrifice of Jesus is love at it’s purest. And it is meant for all mankind. For everyone who will believe. I am so glad it was not up to me.

God, in His great grace and mercy, knew that we as humans would not be able to fulfill this most perfect plan. We would be swayed by temptations, evil thoughts, or wrong heart motives. After all, that is the epitome of sin itself.

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. -2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

The physical evidence of what I see can be so deceiving. And sometimes it’s not. But, it’s not up to me. It’s determined by the ransom paid by Jesus upon the cross. I stand in awe of the wonderous works of our loving Father.

His commandment to love one another should not be perceived as a time-consuming obligation. Choosing to love is an eye-opening revelation. I am to love just as He has loved all the inhabitants of the earth. 

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“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.-John 15:9, 10, 12 NLT

Gifts through Loss and Life

Last July, my family and I experienced great adversity. Creating confusion, doubts and suffering we learned of a pregnancy that had failed. In fact, I had just taken a test at home when some weeks later we were faced with our loss. I could never undermine the heartache, regardless of how premature it happened.

All in all, my heart was troubled with fear. I wanted this child so desperately. I was terrified. I was hurting. And I felt alone- even though I was not the only one suffering.

Deprived of options, we were faced to choose between a medication or surgery to further help my body deliver our child. With some support of family and friends, I opted for the surgery. Honestly, I don’t feel my mind was able to make such a rational or significant decision either way.

The day before I was scheduled for the procedure, I experienced severe physical pain. My medical provider urged me to have an ultrasound straightaway. Per protocol, I was asked to empty my bladder before the ultrasound began. And, it was there in that bathroom where I delivered our baby. Without medication, without surgery.

I will never forget what I mentally experienced and physically witnessed there. Strangely enough, once I returned for the preparation of the ultrasound I was overwhelmingly at peace. I laid there, alone, with only the technician. However, I did not feel alone as I sensed the almost tangible presence of my heavenly Father.

Reflecting upon those days of confusion, doubts and suffering, I recall willingly surrendering my personal desires to the Lord’s care. I placed the life and potential loss of this child in His hands. I cried out;

I do not understand why I’m experiencing this, and, yes, I think it’s unfair. I do not know what the future holds, but I trust in You, God. Although it is my heart’s desire to keep this child, I trust in what You can see that I do not. I leave this child in Your hands.

Then, exactly four months to the day of our loss, my husband and I learned we were pregnant again! I could never forget the day- as it was my husband’s birthday. We were overjoyed! But, every day, uncertainties crept in our minds. I learned that I could either dwell upon the uncertain, or I could delve into God’s promises that produce confidence.

So, as a person who tries to control everything, I was challenged to yield that control. I had some minor physical setbacks that I was unable to make better. It pushed me to trust in God all the more. And as a result, He made everything better for me. Facing the uncertain, I was encouraged all the more to uphold my faith in Him.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.- Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Yes, I hoped for a full-term pregnancy. My flesh was uncertain what would and could happen. However, my spirit man grew in confidence about who God is. That He is, indeed, faithful to His word.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.- Romans 8:28 NLT

This July, exactly one year to the day of our loss, I delivered our new, precious baby girl! It was truly a bittersweet moment. I can barely begin to describe the array of emotions I felt that day. I genuinely feel that not one person could write a more beautiful story of loss and life, than the story we’ve lived with God as the center of it all.

Within this past month, I’ve been blessed to acknowledge the gifts that have come through our loss. Through our confusion, doubts and suffering I’ve been able to help others cope through their heartaches. I’ve been personally strengthened in faith towards my heavenly Father. And I’ve been graced with the gift of new life.

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“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”- Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT