New Growth: Overcoming Damaging & Dead Thoughts

My husband and I planted a weeping cherry tree approximately 3 years ago. Around this time of the year, new leaves begin to bud. This is typically when we notice branches that are not producing, and we know they have died off. We have had to prune these branches every year since planting. Which makes our tree appear as if no growth has taken place.

We’ve learned the benefit of cutting these dead branches immediately. As the tree itself puts energy into keeping the dead branches alive, as well as putting energy into the good branches. Once the dead branches have been removed, the tree can now focus on its overall health of the healthy limbs- not the sick ones too.

I pondered how long I’ve spent a considerable amount of time on my own unhealthy and healthy thoughts. Many days I feel I’m doing well. But then thoughts can overwhelm me within mere moments. Thoughts of doubts, insecurities, anxieties and fears, anger and offenses to name a few. And when I view my thoughts in light of our weeping cherry tree, they are but dead branches I’m trying to keep alive. It’s definitely sickening when revealed in this manner.

It’s not like I, or any other person for that matter, want to think of holding onto something dead or putting all energy into unhealthy thoughts. But it’s no wonder it’s a struggle to try to keep my good thoughts alive and well.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Proverbs 17:22 (NLT)

“Heart” and “inner spirit” here also means spirit or soul (otherwise known as mind, will, and emotions). This isn’t an invitation for both unhealthy and healthy thoughts to dwell. Consider it one or the other. If not careful to remove the unhealthy thoughts from the depths of my soul, then a slow fade of death can choke out all other healthy thoughts. For death (sin) and life cannot coexist.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

Romans 6:6-11 (NLT)

With this in mind, it is no wonder warning is presented to cut off dead branches immediately. I, myself, no longer want to waste anymore energy on these dead thoughts. The thoughts that are originated by the enemy to steal, kill and destroy. I want every ounce of energy, Christ has already gifted to me, to be poured into healthy thoughts and an overall healthy being. After all, I’m already promised that Jesus’ purpose is to give a rich and satisfying life in Him (John 10:10).

So this poses the question, “How can I overcome those damaging, dead thoughts?”. By simply yielding to the Lord. Once those thoughts creep in, I am encouraged to “take captive every rebellious thought and teach them to obey Christ Jesus” (2 Corinthians 2:10:5). And in surrendering every single thing to Him, I can trust that He will prune away that which doesn’t bring me life.

I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. ..Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

John 15:1-2, 4 (NLT)

New healthy leaves (thoughts and livelihood) are sure to bud the more I yield to Him. Rather than have my life appear to be a bigger more fuller tree with dead branches in it, I would much rather allow my life to be pruned and allow my energy to be spent on new growth.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy.

Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)

A Growth Process: Transforming with Knowledge and Understanding

I feel as if I am reliving the same day over and over again. Within that concept lies another underlying problem. I’m also repeating the same things over and over again. “What did I just say?”, “Are you even listening to me?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?” are just a few of those sayings on repeat to two toddlers.

Not only am I reliving this moment by moment, day by day, but I am reliving the frustration and impatience with it all. I figure, they know these things. I’ve modeled these things to them. Yet they still don’t do it! Other words, why can’t they just match what I do and be like me?!

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. The reality is that they’re toddlers. They have a short attention span. They have not yet acquired maturity. They may have knowledge of something, but they have not received the ability to carry out that knowledge. Because the growth process entails taking time. I train, guide, and correct them until they are transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what they can be. And it’ll be a continual process.

This requires more than just knowing something in their mind. They have to understand it with their heart. Take my son for example. He is completely obsessed with construction vehicles, tractors, emergency vehicles, etc. He both knows and understands about them because he loves them so much! On the flip side, he knows about his sister’s kitty obsession, but he doesn’t understand it because it’s not something he thoroughly enjoys.

I realized the implication this had on my walk with Christ. I was striving so hard to match what I knew about Jesus. I was so hard on myself every single time I failed. On my own I could not think, say, do, and behave in such a way that mirrored Jesus. So I loathed in my condemning thoughts. “I’m just never going to be or do enough!”

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. I’m not meant to match Jesus, to think, say, do, and behave all in my own efforts. Only, I live through Him. I love how The Passion Translation says it like this:

“The light of God’s love shined within us when he sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through him“.- 1 John 4:9

I was, then, reminded of the account of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with His disciples (Matthew 14:13-21). At this point, the disciples knew Jesus could perform miracles. Jesus had modeled miracles before their very eyes. Then, in the very next chapter, (Matthew 15:32-39) Jesus calls His disciples to feed a different 4,000. Their response? “Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?” [-Seriously!] Sounds familiar, right?

The reality is, just like those disciples, I have not fully figured it all out. I still have to attend to Jesus. I still have maturity to acquire in Him. And while I may have knowledge of Him, I have to allow Him to help me carry out that knowledge. It’s done by gaining that understanding through deep revelation within my heart that only He can provide.

“These people honor me only with their words, for their hearts are so very distant from me. They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.” Then Jesus turned to the crowd and said, “Come, listen and open your heart to understand.”– Matthew 15:8-10 (TPT) [emphasis mine]

And it’s a growth process (aka: sanctification). He trains, guides, and corrects me as I surrender to Him and His word. Moment by moment, day by day…

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

…until I’m transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what I can be in Him.

But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (NLT)

No longer do I have to feel frustrated and impatient when my children don’t follow through with my instruction or perform to meet my expectations. Nor do I have to feel frustrated and impatient with myself when I don’t follow “having a mind like Christ” or performing like “Christ lives in me”. That type of thinking leads to striving and results in condemning thoughts. Right now, I surrender all those expectations.

I thoroughly enjoy the word of God and love Him- just as my son loves his machines! Which means I have the ability to both know and understand who Jesus is in me. I can trust His sanctifying work that is declared in Galatians 2:20, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

To my children, to myself, and to anyone who can relate to my circumstances: “Come, listen and open your heart to understand”.

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The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.- 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV).

Perfect Love: What Fuels a Tolerable Fog to a Passionate Fire

My whole life I’ve seen relationships end and rarely mend. I’ve long witnessed broken marriages. Thus, I leave this disclaimer: I am far from an expert on relationships, let alone marriage.

Then, a beautiful celebration took place one month ago as my little brother was married.  I have watched, over the past few years, how he and his new bride have grown in God and grown with one another. It was a fresh take on relationships that I hadn’t witnessed before.

I yearned for that. But that yearning quickly turned into comparing. And that comparing planted a wrongful, jealous root in my heart.

When I first met my husband, we most certainly had a passionate fire kind of love. The love like I observe between my brother and his bride. However over time, my husband and I became comfortable with one another. Our every day relations became ordinary. Until that love dwindled down to a tolerable fog.

I can admit, most often, I’ve been quick to point out everything he’s done wrong. Or that he’s lacking what I think is right. I didn’t care about the fact that I was ignoring the deliverance of love on my end. My love became conditional. If you do this, then I’ll do that. My love became obstinate. It’s either my way or no way. That’s not necessarily love.

In recognizing, repenting, and releasing my jealous heart issue to God, He shared truths with me that I needed to receive. He taught me and brought me to a new level of understanding. He gave this under-qualified wife some depth of insight into what makes my brother’s relationship with his new bride so special.

This insight shifts focus onto the Person of Jesus Christ. And He is known by the name of “the bridegroom”. He models the type of love that I yearn for. In fact, He has betrothed me, and the whole body of Christ, as His bride. Making us recipients of this unified love!

You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.– Song of Songs 4:12 NLT

This kind of love is intentional and intimate. Like the love I observe between my brother and his bride. Intentionality is defined as being “done with intention or on purpose”. Also interchangeable with “willful”. Intimacy is defined as “a close familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship”.

Contrary to being conditional and obstinate. Like the love I’ve offered my husband. I realized that by setting conditions and being obstinate, I fell into the habit of dishonoring him. I would discredit his integrity by talking ill of him. Whether under my breath or to another friend. 

The Holy Spirit has transformed my thoughts to a new understanding. Every time I dishonor my husband, I dishonor myself. For when we agreed to the covenant promise of marriage, we became unified; one.

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”– Mark 10:7-9 (NLT)

My condemning words became our own worst enemy- snuffing out the passionate fire to a fog. That unloving behavior is a component of this warning here in scripture; “let no one split apart what God has joined together”. It is most certainly a contributing factor of various reasons why many relationships come to an end.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.– Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

The love I share with my Heavenly Husband, Jesus Christ, is the perfect model for the love I can share with my earthly husband. And this love can be taken a step further by the love I share with the Church; the body of Christ, (His bride).

[Jesus speaking] “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.– John 17:20-23 (NLT)

This love doesn’t ever become comfortable. It’s transformative. It doesn’t dwindle to a tolerable fog. It fuels the passionate fire. It is willfully choosing to intentionally love. It is becoming relationally familiar by intimate love.

That same love I witness between my brother and his bride? It’s found here. Growing deeper in love with the Perfect Man, Jesus Christ. Who cultivates that same love I can so tenderly yield to others.

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I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.- Ephesians 3:16-19 (NLT)

The Teacher

Finally! The past two days have treated us with some warmer weather conditions. My son and I were able to take full advantage of this and play outside. I was ever so grateful for this opportunity since I feel we have been cooped up inside our home for too long. Little did I realize how these small adventures would thoroughly teach both my son and I.

I was able to witness some new developments in my toddler as we explored the outdoors. This was the first time his newly 2-year old mind was able to comprehend what his eyes were seeing. He would point to or pick up objects in order to learn of their name. I was able to expand upon his knowledge by informing him what he could and could not touch, what was safe and unsafe, etc.

His newest interest has been collecting rocks, as his treasures, from all over the yard. In doing so, he has unearthed some unwanted vulnerabilities. We have discovered an infestation of red ants, exposed a variety of holes, and have collected piles of these rocks to remain unused in various new places. However, this has revealed even more opportunities for me to teach and provide him with chances to grow in knowledge of his world around him.

I see a parallel here between my toddler and I, and myself with God. God is ever increasing my knowledge and understanding whenever I seek it from Him. Which He is able to teach me through my experiences and through His Word. Scripture emphasizes to “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.- Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV). Whether I’m teaching my child, or God is teaching me, we are setting valuable lessons to guide growth and stability through this life. 

Just like my son who collects treasures of rocks, I’m collecting heavenly treasures. These are found when God teaches me to live set apart from the world. In doing so, God unearths some unwanted vulnerabilities within me. Through Him, I have discovered an infestation in my life from the enemy’s schemes. He has exposed a variety of voids that I have sought to be filled by sinful pleasures. I have collected piles of heavenly treasures but left them to remain unused in various new places. However, this has revealed even more opportunities for God to teach and provide me with chances to grow in knowledge of my world through Him.

These opportunities to increase in knowledge and understanding through life’s lessons are valuable to the heart of God.

let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.- Proverbs 1:5&7 (NIV)

I’ve already been given Jesus’ example of life on this Earth to know the difference between what I can and cannot touch, what is safe and unsafe, etc. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.- 2 John 1:9 (NIV). Christ’s example of life on this Earth is found in scripture. And since Christ abides in me, I have His power and authority to advance me even farther in His well, thought-out instruction.

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“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV). 

 

Growing Pains

My son is now a toddler. And on occasion, he experiences some restless nights. During this time, he might wake frequently with crying outbursts. This could be due to his body stretching some in length. Or, he may be encountering the last of his baby teeth cutting through his gums. It is no wonder, as his little body is enduring some growing pains. The good news is there are remedies to relieve him of these pains!

While currently pregnant, I, too, have endured some growing pains of my own. As my belly gets bigger, other body parts tend to ache more quickly than they once did. While driving, if I sit up too erect then my stomach begins cramping. I have to recline my seat back in order to relieve pressure. My feet become sore easily from standing too long, which can be easily rectified by taking breaks to sit. If I sleep on my back at night, it begins to hurt from the weight of my growing baby. I can find comfort from the full-length body pillows that support my back!

Well.. It should come as no surprise to me that when I grow spiritually I also may endure some pains. As my spirit man grows, myself (flesh) has to diminish. I am coming to understand that living by the Spirit is giving Him control and allowing myself to relinquish control. He must become greater; I must become less.- John 3:30 (NIV).

Living for my flesh is for selfish gain. For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us..- Romans 7:5(NIV). Selfishness is in direct opposition to what God’s Word commands. And if I continue to live by my flesh, then I am not in full accordance with the Spirit of God. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh..- Galatians 5:17 (NIV). 

I am instructed to crucify the desires of my flesh. Indeed, with this comes pain. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.- Galatians 5:24 (NIV). In this context, this is a metaphor that suggests this: “to crucify the flesh, destroy its power utterly (the nature of the figure implying that the destruction is attended with intense pain)”. [Reference Here]

The good news is there is a remedy to relieve me of these pains! I can walk in freedom knowing that my selfish, sinful flesh was already crucified by the sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.- Galatians 2:20 (NIV).

Once my mind is transformed to receive this truth, I can truly live in full accordance with the Spirit of God! But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.- Romans 7:6 (NIV).

It’s true, through my previous pain I can experience a transforming growth. A growth that produces much fruit. Though, not by myself but by the Spirit who lives in me. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!- Galatians 5:22&23 (NLT). For by relinquishing my control I acknowledge that it is by God I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). 

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“So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. ..Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.”- Hebrews 6:1&12 (NLT)