A Growth Process: Transforming with Knowledge and Understanding

I feel as if I am reliving the same day over and over again. Within that concept lies another underlying problem. I’m also repeating the same things over and over again. “What did I just say?”, “Are you even listening to me?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?” are just a few of those sayings on repeat to two toddlers.

Not only am I reliving this moment by moment, day by day, but I am reliving the frustration and impatience with it all. I figure, they know these things. I’ve modeled these things to them. Yet they still don’t do it! Other words, why can’t they just match what I do and be like me?!

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. The reality is that they’re toddlers. They have a short attention span. They have not yet acquired maturity. They may have knowledge of something, but they have not received the ability to carry out that knowledge. Because the growth process entails taking time. I train, guide, and correct them until they are transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what they can be. And it’ll be a continual process.

This requires more than just knowing something in their mind. They have to understand it with their heart. Take my son for example. He is completely obsessed with construction vehicles, tractors, emergency vehicles, etc. He both knows and understands about them because he loves them so much! On the flip side, he knows about his sister’s kitty obsession, but he doesn’t understand it because it’s not something he thoroughly enjoys.

I realized the implication this had on my walk with Christ. I was striving so hard to match what I knew about Jesus. I was so hard on myself every single time I failed. On my own I could not think, say, do, and behave in such a way that mirrored Jesus. So I loathed in my condemning thoughts. “I’m just never going to be or do enough!”

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. I’m not meant to match Jesus, to think, say, do, and behave all in my own efforts. Only, I live through Him. I love how The Passion Translation says it like this:

“The light of God’s love shined within us when he sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through him“.- 1 John 4:9

I was, then, reminded of the account of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with His disciples (Matthew 14:13-21). At this point, the disciples knew Jesus could perform miracles. Jesus had modeled miracles before their very eyes. Then, in the very next chapter, (Matthew 15:32-39) Jesus calls His disciples to feed a different 4,000. Their response? “Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?” [-Seriously!] Sounds familiar, right?

The reality is, just like those disciples, I have not fully figured it all out. I still have to attend to Jesus. I still have maturity to acquire in Him. And while I may have knowledge of Him, I have to allow Him to help me carry out that knowledge. It’s done by gaining that understanding through deep revelation within my heart that only He can provide.

“These people honor me only with their words, for their hearts are so very distant from me. They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.” Then Jesus turned to the crowd and said, “Come, listen and open your heart to understand.”– Matthew 15:8-10 (TPT) [emphasis mine]

And it’s a growth process (aka: sanctification). He trains, guides, and corrects me as I surrender to Him and His word. Moment by moment, day by day…

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

…until I’m transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what I can be in Him.

But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (NLT)

No longer do I have to feel frustrated and impatient when my children don’t follow through with my instruction or perform to meet my expectations. Nor do I have to feel frustrated and impatient with myself when I don’t follow “having a mind like Christ” or performing like “Christ lives in me”. That type of thinking leads to striving and results in condemning thoughts. Right now, I surrender all those expectations.

I thoroughly enjoy the word of God and love Him- just as my son loves his machines! Which means I have the ability to both know and understand who Jesus is in me. I can trust His sanctifying work that is declared in Galatians 2:20, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

To my children, to myself, and to anyone who can relate to my circumstances: “Come, listen and open your heart to understand”.

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The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.- 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV).

Casting Oneself in Love and Casting Out Fears

The winter blues has me missing warmer weather and the outdoor activities that accompany it. One of my favorite summer pastimes is a family fishing day. Our family of four would regularly pack up to spend a few hours at our local reservoir.

My husband and son would identity their best spot and set up their fishing rods. My daughter and I would locate the nearest bench and watch from uphill. Both enjoying the scenery and supporting their efforts from slightly afar.

My husband spent countless times showing our son how to cast the fishing line. At times, he modeled it using his own pole. Other times, he cast our sons line for him. And the rest of the times, our independent toddler opted to cast the line himself. Often, getting it caught in the weeds on the bank.

I can’t say that much fishing was truly had. As a spectator, it both tickled and frustrated me to witness. I often wanted to take the matter into my own hands. But I now understand that the learning experience for our son was a integral part of becoming skillful for later on in life.

I see how I relate to my toddler in a spiritual sense. I want to be so independent and say, “I’ve seen this done before, I can handle this.” Then, I cast all my efforts into my circumstances. And most often, it results in me getting tangled up in life’s weeds. Any spectator would be both tickled or frustrated to watch my efforts.

Nearly every time this entanglement happens, I become all too fearful. Look at the mess I’ve made. Can you help me out, Lord? Where are you? And yet He’s right there with me. Just as my husband is close by our son’s side. Waiting patiently and ready to help.

The Holy Spirit reminds me; look at the model of Jesus and how He cast Himself in love to others- in life and in death. He is the greatest example and points us back to our perfect Father. 

[Jesus speaking] I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. (John 13:15 NLT) Since you are children of a perfect Father in heaven, you are to be perfect like him.” (Matthew 5:48 TPT)

And how can one be perfected like our heavenly Father? By becoming the image of Him, which is love.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. (1 John 4:9-10, 16‭-‬17 NLT)

The Holy Spirit also reminds me what to do when I’ve gotten myself tangled up in fears; give it all over to the holy One. He is love. He is perfect. And He will cast your fearful circumstances far away from you. 

Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.. (1 John 4:17‭-‬18 NKJV)

The combination of following Jesus’ modeled example, God’s perfect love, and casting away our fears can be interwoven in the following guideline: It is written. 

By casting my self in His love, I am to take His word and put it into practice. Whether in speech, in actions, in behaviors. Whether I think I have it all figured out, or I don’t. Whether I make the cast and get tangled up in life’s circumstances. I can trust that each experience is an integral part of becoming skillful for later in this life. But only because my heavenly Father is always and forever present. And His helpfulness to my efforts points to His goodness, greatness, and glory. 

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God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.- Psalms 46:1‭-‬3‭, ‬10‭-‬11 NLT

Steep in God’s Word: How to Get the Most Out of Scripture

The chill of fall weather draws me to the comforts of a warm cup of tea with honey. Recently, I grabbed my box of tea and set out to make my cup. While waiting, I opted to read the directions on the back of my tea packet.

It read: “Get the most out of every cup“.

• “Bring water to boiling and steep 7 minutes.”
• “For stronger tea, use 2 tea bags.”
• “Drink 3-6 cups daily.”
• “To warm up or soothe the throat, such as for singing or public speaking, sip as needed throughout the day.”

As I have been seeking to move closer to the Lord relationally, I felt such delight when reading these directions. I discovered that by steeping in God’s word, I can get the most out of every scripture.

Boiling means “to an extreme degree”. Steeping is defined as “to cover with or plunge into a liquid (as in bathing, rinsing, or soaking)”.

In order for me to get the most out of every scripture, the first step is this: Extremely regarding God and His word as the means in which I should live and walk in love. Taking the plunge to open up His word. Soaking in His word. Covering myself with His word. Just like the longer tea “steeps” it tastes better, so it is the longer I steep in the word of God!

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”- John 8:31-32 (NKJV)

This second application is one that I have personally found to be helpful in really hearing God’s voice through His word. Having stronger tea suggests using two tea bags. Having stronger knowledge of the word suggests using two (or more) translations.

I grew up reading God’s word through a King James Version (KJV) Bible. Unless someone is truly familiar with that language (which I wasn’t) it is very hard to understand what is being spoken. As I aged, I sought out different translations. My favorite FREE resource to provide access to all translations is by using the YouVersion Bible App.

There can be controversy about this topic, as with anything really. But when my heart posture is to seek God through His word, I trust that He will lead, deepen my understanding, and grow me in His truths. As Jesus prayed in the gospel of John;

I have given them your word. ..Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. ..I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by your truth.- John 17:14, 17, 19 (NLT)

Step three of getting the most out of every scripture is this: Read God’s word all throughout the day. Not just once a blue moon. Not just ‘liking’ that inspirational verse that someone else shared. No, I’m talking about immersing myself in God’s word, receiving His spiritual nourishment, every chance I can get.

I have my physical bibles in a couple rooms of my home. These are used during my “child-free” times. (Mind you, I have a 15-month old that just wants to rip it’s pages!). I regularly use my Bible App. The benefit of this is there are certain translations in which I can audio-play, this particularly blesses my children. It also provides ways for me to complete practical devotions which have scriptural references. Additionally, I read faith-based books or complete bible study books which are infused with scripture. There are endless opportunities if I commit myself- like one who drinks 3-6 cups of tea daily.

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes!- Psalm 119:9-12 (ESV)

This last application warms my heart and soothes my soul. God’s very scripture is beneficial for multiple reasons. To teach and correct, provide guidance, offer hope using promises, give greater depth of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. I learn Who God is and who He says I am. I discover how to share this Good News with others. I identify how to truly love.

Scripture can be used to sing songs. It can be used as prayers when I’m not otherwise sure how to pray. It can shift my perspective by reminding me how blessed I am and how I can thank God for what I have (or not yet have). One thing I have found, it is needed throughout my day.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.- Colossians 3:16 (NKJV)

If it’s not evident by now, I must declare my affections. I love God and His word, just as I love a warm cup of tea (with honey) on a cool fall day. How have you, or can you, get the most out of steeping in God’s word?

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How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.- Psalm 119:103-105 (ESV)

Perfect Love: What Fuels a Tolerable Fog to a Passionate Fire

My whole life I’ve seen relationships end and rarely mend. I’ve long witnessed broken marriages. Thus, I leave this disclaimer: I am far from an expert on relationships, let alone marriage.

Then, a beautiful celebration took place one month ago as my little brother was married.  I have watched, over the past few years, how he and his new bride have grown in God and grown with one another. It was a fresh take on relationships that I hadn’t witnessed before.

I yearned for that. But that yearning quickly turned into comparing. And that comparing planted a wrongful, jealous root in my heart.

When I first met my husband, we most certainly had a passionate fire kind of love. The love like I observe between my brother and his bride. However over time, my husband and I became comfortable with one another. Our every day relations became ordinary. Until that love dwindled down to a tolerable fog.

I can admit, most often, I’ve been quick to point out everything he’s done wrong. Or that he’s lacking what I think is right. I didn’t care about the fact that I was ignoring the deliverance of love on my end. My love became conditional. If you do this, then I’ll do that. My love became obstinate. It’s either my way or no way. That’s not necessarily love.

In recognizing, repenting, and releasing my jealous heart issue to God, He shared truths with me that I needed to receive. He taught me and brought me to a new level of understanding. He gave this under-qualified wife some depth of insight into what makes my brother’s relationship with his new bride so special.

This insight shifts focus onto the Person of Jesus Christ. And He is known by the name of “the bridegroom”. He models the type of love that I yearn for. In fact, He has betrothed me, and the whole body of Christ, as His bride. Making us recipients of this unified love!

You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.– Song of Songs 4:12 NLT

This kind of love is intentional and intimate. Like the love I observe between my brother and his bride. Intentionality is defined as being “done with intention or on purpose”. Also interchangeable with “willful”. Intimacy is defined as “a close familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship”.

Contrary to being conditional and obstinate. Like the love I’ve offered my husband. I realized that by setting conditions and being obstinate, I fell into the habit of dishonoring him. I would discredit his integrity by talking ill of him. Whether under my breath or to another friend. 

The Holy Spirit has transformed my thoughts to a new understanding. Every time I dishonor my husband, I dishonor myself. For when we agreed to the covenant promise of marriage, we became unified; one.

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”– Mark 10:7-9 (NLT)

My condemning words became our own worst enemy- snuffing out the passionate fire to a fog. That unloving behavior is a component of this warning here in scripture; “let no one split apart what God has joined together”. It is most certainly a contributing factor of various reasons why many relationships come to an end.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.– Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

The love I share with my Heavenly Husband, Jesus Christ, is the perfect model for the love I can share with my earthly husband. And this love can be taken a step further by the love I share with the Church; the body of Christ, (His bride).

[Jesus speaking] “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.– John 17:20-23 (NLT)

This love doesn’t ever become comfortable. It’s transformative. It doesn’t dwindle to a tolerable fog. It fuels the passionate fire. It is willfully choosing to intentionally love. It is becoming relationally familiar by intimate love.

That same love I witness between my brother and his bride? It’s found here. Growing deeper in love with the Perfect Man, Jesus Christ. Who cultivates that same love I can so tenderly yield to others.

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I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.- Ephesians 3:16-19 (NLT)

Choosing to Love: An Eye-Opening Revelation

I sat down to complete an online training course. Since I am certified in speech-language pathology, I am required to complete trainings as part of certificate maintenance. Little did I realize that this time-consuming obligation would be an eye-opening revelation.

The training was focused on shaping negative thinking toward students with disabilities. How I, as an SLP, could help students as a whole. This training began with a warm-up in hopes to show the trained professional how they, too, may perceive others with negative views.

What followed were a series of eight photos. Every two would compare someone vs someone else. We were, then, advised to write our feelings about the individuals shown. Whether those feelings were positive, negative, or neutral.

I was appalled by the negative thoughts I assumed about some of these individuals. Although it’s true that culture, society, religious beliefs, and the like have influenced some of these viewpoints. However, what alarmed me the most was realizing these people have their own voice, motives, and experiences that have made them to be who they are. Who am I to judge just by how they look in a photo?

 

God reminded me of His truth which solidified this conviction;

..The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

In that moment, I had the greatest revelation of the love that God has for all mankind.

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16 NLT

I read and re-read this great love account.

1) God loved the world- The word world referenced here means the inhabitants of the earth, the human race. Not just those whom I personally have a positive viewpoint towards. And thanking God that He does love us even now. Despite all that I/we have said or done.

2) He gave His one and only Son- ..He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. -Romans 8:3 NLT

3) so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.- It is not safe for me to assume I know what a person believes because from the outside it appears as if they “have it altogether”. It’s also not safe for me to assume someone doesn’t believe because their outward appearance is different from my personal convictions.

The profound sacrifice of Jesus is love at it’s purest. And it is meant for all mankind. For everyone who will believe. I am so glad it was not up to me.

God, in His great grace and mercy, knew that we as humans would not be able to fulfill this most perfect plan. We would be swayed by temptations, evil thoughts, or wrong heart motives. After all, that is the epitome of sin itself.

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. -2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

The physical evidence of what I see can be so deceiving. And sometimes it’s not. But, it’s not up to me. It’s determined by the ransom paid by Jesus upon the cross. I stand in awe of the wonderous works of our loving Father.

His commandment to love one another should not be perceived as a time-consuming obligation. Choosing to love is an eye-opening revelation. I am to love just as He has loved all the inhabitants of the earth. 

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“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.-John 15:9, 10, 12 NLT