Fresh Fruit: Seeking Jesus for His Goodness

Fresh fruit is a staple in my household. My son especially loves it! But, one thing this Mama has a hard time with is how quickly fruit rots. I buy so many varieties that by the time we have tried a bit of all, we find rotting has begun with the remainder.

Take a carton of strawberries, for example. Once one has molded, the strawberries that surround it begin to mold as well. Interestingly enough, the opposite side of the strawberry that is touching the non-moldy ones still appears in good condition.

However, it is said that once the mold has begun they are no longer safe to eat and must be thrown out. Even if half of it still appears good, the whole is not considered good to eat.

I pondered the implication of this imagery with the condition of my heart. Imagine, if my heart touches the heart of the world that’s full of sin, I, too, reflect that sin nature.

As it is written: “There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God. They have all turned aside; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no, not one.”- Romans 3:10-12 (NKJV) [emphasis mine]

But, if my heart touches the heart of God, then I’m healthy, full of goodness, and safe.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.- John 15:5 (NLT) [emphasis mine]

On my own I am merely self-righteous or an appearance of good. But given time, one may see the true reflection of a heart that touches a world full of sin is no different.

However, a heart that touches the heart of God produces the fruit of ‘goodness’ by the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22). And what does this goodness look like? It’s definition says this: uprightness of heart and life.

Good and upright is the Lord; Therefore He teaches sinners in the way.- Psalms 25:8 (NKJV)

Though, imagine it’s said that, I, too, must be thrown out if my heart has started to decay from touching a world of sin.

If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.- John 15:6 (NKJV)

It’s a stark realization. But living for Christ is a wholehearted commitment. It is daily dying to self and surrendering both heart and life to His righteousness.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.- 1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

Thank God for His mercy and His grace to accept us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ.

For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!- Romans 5:17 (NIV)

A life found in Christ is certainly like finding and consuming the freshest fruit. May we continually seek Him and touch hearts with His. For in Him is true goodness— uprightness of heart and life!

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Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.- Matthew 7:17‭-‬20 (NIV)

 

A Word for the Year: Reflection and Resolution

2019. The first time I jumped on the Word for the Year bandwagon. In December 2018, I felt such a passionate fire in my heart to declare arise as my word for 2019. And more specifically to shift my purpose to Wake up! (Romans 13:11) and Go! (Mark 16:15).

I was so focused on fulfilling calling and purpose for God’s kingdom that I took this to heart. I thought I would spend 2019 writing a book entitled ‘Arise: Wake Up and Go’.

Unfortunately, like many times in my life, I start projects with such zeal. I continue with determination when the going gets tough. Then, once I’ve had enough of certain pressures I, most often, don’t finish my purposed tasks. Much like this book’s manuscript.

What I originally intended with this book became snuffed out by doubts. It tripped me up by wondering if I really understood my calling and purpose with clarity. I became too sidetracked by distractions. I felt a heaviness of daily frustrations and quickly became overwhelmed.

I felt like a failure with my literal interpretation of my Word for the Year. It had seemed as though the word was lost on me. However, I had previously purposed within my heart to accomplish something in full- from start to finish. I internalized my new year’s resolution to read through the Bible in a year. Midway through the year, I almost gave up as I dwelt upon my heart motives. I knew my heart was in the wrong place as I attempted to complete this personal challenge to prove something to myself. Although I persevered, I felt disappointed in myself and nearly depressed.

Until today. I reflected upon this year’s journey with gratitude in my heart. And I found that God did, in fact, show up BIG in my life this year. He’s merciful. He’s gracious. He’s faithful. He’s loving. And He’s oh, so good. 

1) In determining to write my book, I was led to forgive two crucial persons that have impacted my life. I particularly held onto [over two decades each] of hurt and grudges from our relationships together. It cascaded into uncovering several years of suppressed pains, from and against, other certain peoples. Those of which I didn’t know we’re hidden in my heart. More forgiveness flowed.

Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness.  -Luke 11:35 (NLT)

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. -Matthew 6:14‭-‬15 (NLT)

2) As a consequence of forgiving, my heart began it’s transformation to healed. God’s light shone upon areas of my heart that needed further repentance (perfectionism, control, striving). I found freedom from pursuing worldly affirmations and approval. And I learned to become better acquainted with God’s heart.

Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah.
Acts of the Apostles 3:19‭-‬20 (NLT)

3) In dedicating myself to reading the Word, I saw how God grew me with deeper revelations than I have ever experienced in my lifetime. He demolished lies I often believed, such as common “worldly wisdoms”. He transformed thoughts of Who I believed Him to be. I once thought He was out to punish me for every wrong choice I made (which is A LOT). But instead of punishing me for my wrong heart motives in reading the Word, He proved Himself faithful with the gifts of growth, help with perseverance, and deeper understanding of Truth.

But the Lord Yahweh is always faithful to place you on a firm foundation and guard you from the Evil One. Now may the Lord move your hearts into a greater understanding of God’s pure love for you and into Christ’s steadfast endurance.
2 Thessalonians 3:3‭, ‬5 (TPT)

I’m so grateful for this year. God truly beckoned me to arise. To Wake up! from a religious slumber. Of going through the motions of life while proclaiming to be a Christian, but harboring grudges and unforgiveness in my heart. He asked me to Go! and do the hard things that were needed to be done for deeper revelations and transformations.

Because isn’t that what any of us are called and purposed to do? To love Him with our lives, showing utmost obedience to Him, in order to bring glory to His name. He has been, and will continue to be, faithful to point all my failures and frustrations back to Him, His goodness, and what He has done.

I look forward to what I feel deep in my heart is for 2020. After prayerfully considering a word for the year, my heart is wide open and ready for renewal. And of course, to shout and proclaim glory to His name along the way!

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“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”- Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)

Eyes Are Watching Me

I’ve been a spectator of my “mom peers” who are on their journey of working out and eating healthy. I follow as they share their personal stories; documenting their weaknesses and strengths, failures and successes. One particular statement that has caught my eye expresses, “Little eyes are watching”.

Essentially, these moms are saying that their children are watching their personal lifestyle choices. They want to be a good role model in terms of their well being. They place value on, and respect for, their bodies.

Indeed, little eyes are watching. I know this to be true as my toddler watches all that my husband and I do. Not only that, but he’s listening too. Though, this goes beyond just working out and eating healthy. It is involved in every area of our lives.

For instance, I have had “adult conversations” with others and thought my toddler was too young to understand. Then, some time later he would be repeating pieces of that said conversation to another. Or, I’ve disciplined my children and my dog with a raised voice and harsh words. Only to later witness my toddler replicating the things that I’ve said.

This has had my mind in an uproar. What else have I said or done that he might replicate? What type of role model am I being? Am I teaching him values and lessons on respect? I truly need to reconsider how my words and behaviors have effected my children.

This concept that “little eyes are watching” is not a new one, though. In fact, the Creator of this universe was the first to Author it. Proverbs 15:3 says, “The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.” 

There was a time in my life when I lived like no one was watching. And, I’m talking in terms far beyond working out and eating healthy. I went out to bars and drank until I couldn’t remember anything. I was promiscuous and had no standards in which I interacted with guys. I made many irresponsible, disrespectful, and harmful choices. I didn’t care what I said, much less did to my body.

Oh, but God was, and still is, always watching. I came to learn, “..there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.”- Luke 12:2‭-‬3 NKJV. Those things I thought no one knew about me eventually became disclosed. People talk with other people. Aside from being ashamed and embarrassed, it was a wake up call to the destructive reality of my personal life choices.

By God’s strength, forgiveness, grace and mercy, I ultimately walked away from that way of life. Even now, I’m choosing to rid my life of other sinful acts. Colossians 3:5, 8-9 says, “So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.” This isn’t just a recommendation. It is a commandment. It is not only a valuable lesson to respect myself but to respect the One who created me. It is choosing a life of obedience to His Word.

Most assuredly, I can currently apply these same commandments to my life. Especially by the way I speak and act in front of my children. My life is transparent. It is all documented; my weaknesses and strengths, failures and successes. Every area of my life is exposed- to my children, to others, even more so to God. May I always place value on, and respect for, all my lifestyle choices.

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“If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.”- 1 John 1:8‭-‬10 NLT

Weeding Yields Renewing

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time pulling weeds this summer. Our driveway, along with other areas in our yard, slowly became overwhelmed with weeds. Therefore, the daunting task of weeding needed to take place.

My husband and I devoted one afternoon to weeding our driveway. We quickly realized we may be in over our heads! We decided that we should have used weed killer to rid us of our woes. So, we did just that.

Within a day, our weeds had turned brown and dried out. After a couple weeks, we were still left with these nuisances. Not only were the old ones present and decaying, but some new ones began to sprout.

These weeds were more than just an initial eye sore. Quite frankly, they were a burden. Nevertheless, I dedicated more of my hours to continue with this painstaking task.

I began to weed, again, one day after a rainfall. Since the ground was softened by the rain, it was easier to remove the weeds. Oh, how I wished I had known that sooner! I soon felt relief and realized it wasn’t so bad after all. The more time I spent, I felt at peace being in solitude. While soaking up the rays of the sun and breathing in the fresh air, I felt a renewing.

There’s an interesting correlation between these weeds and the sin in my heart. I am tempted, by the enemy, many times in every given day (1 Peter 5:8). Each time I succumb to Satan’s temptations, a new weed of sin sprouts. Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.- James 4:17 (NLT). And, each time I try to deal with my own sin or justify it, I’m left with the present, decaying weeds of sin. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.- Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV). 

When sins make their way to the outward surface, they are viewed as an eye sore to others. For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.- Luke 8:17 (NLT). But, more than that they are a burden to my heart.

Just like a rain softens the ground, the living water of Jesus softens my heart. Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’ John 7:38 (NLT).

I must give Him complete control of my heart by asking for His forgiveness and grace. Then, He will weed those areas of sin bringing my heart to purity. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.- 1 John 1:9 (NLT). 

Furthermore, being in solitude with Jesus provides me with the peace that only He can provide. Breathing Him in and soaking up the mercy of my Savior is my renewing!

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“But—When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.”- Titus 3:4-5 (NLT)