A Growth Process: Transforming with Knowledge and Understanding

I feel as if I am reliving the same day over and over again. Within that concept lies another underlying problem. I’m also repeating the same things over and over again. “What did I just say?”, “Are you even listening to me?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?” are just a few of those sayings on repeat to two toddlers.

Not only am I reliving this moment by moment, day by day, but I am reliving the frustration and impatience with it all. I figure, they know these things. I’ve modeled these things to them. Yet they still don’t do it! Other words, why can’t they just match what I do and be like me?!

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. The reality is that they’re toddlers. They have a short attention span. They have not yet acquired maturity. They may have knowledge of something, but they have not received the ability to carry out that knowledge. Because the growth process entails taking time. I train, guide, and correct them until they are transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what they can be. And it’ll be a continual process.

This requires more than just knowing something in their mind. They have to understand it with their heart. Take my son for example. He is completely obsessed with construction vehicles, tractors, emergency vehicles, etc. He both knows and understands about them because he loves them so much! On the flip side, he knows about his sister’s kitty obsession, but he doesn’t understand it because it’s not something he thoroughly enjoys.

I realized the implication this had on my walk with Christ. I was striving so hard to match what I knew about Jesus. I was so hard on myself every single time I failed. On my own I could not think, say, do, and behave in such a way that mirrored Jesus. So I loathed in my condemning thoughts. “I’m just never going to be or do enough!”

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. I’m not meant to match Jesus, to think, say, do, and behave all in my own efforts. Only, I live through Him. I love how The Passion Translation says it like this:

“The light of God’s love shined within us when he sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through him“.- 1 John 4:9

I was, then, reminded of the account of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with His disciples (Matthew 14:13-21). At this point, the disciples knew Jesus could perform miracles. Jesus had modeled miracles before their very eyes. Then, in the very next chapter, (Matthew 15:32-39) Jesus calls His disciples to feed a different 4,000. Their response? “Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?” [-Seriously!] Sounds familiar, right?

The reality is, just like those disciples, I have not fully figured it all out. I still have to attend to Jesus. I still have maturity to acquire in Him. And while I may have knowledge of Him, I have to allow Him to help me carry out that knowledge. It’s done by gaining that understanding through deep revelation within my heart that only He can provide.

“These people honor me only with their words, for their hearts are so very distant from me. They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.” Then Jesus turned to the crowd and said, “Come, listen and open your heart to understand.”– Matthew 15:8-10 (TPT) [emphasis mine]

And it’s a growth process (aka: sanctification). He trains, guides, and corrects me as I surrender to Him and His word. Moment by moment, day by day…

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

…until I’m transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what I can be in Him.

But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (NLT)

No longer do I have to feel frustrated and impatient when my children don’t follow through with my instruction or perform to meet my expectations. Nor do I have to feel frustrated and impatient with myself when I don’t follow “having a mind like Christ” or performing like “Christ lives in me”. That type of thinking leads to striving and results in condemning thoughts. Right now, I surrender all those expectations.

I thoroughly enjoy the word of God and love Him- just as my son loves his machines! Which means I have the ability to both know and understand who Jesus is in me. I can trust His sanctifying work that is declared in Galatians 2:20, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

To my children, to myself, and to anyone who can relate to my circumstances: “Come, listen and open your heart to understand”.

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The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.- 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV).

I’ve Got a Golden Ticket: A Pass to the Kingdom

While getting myself and the kids ready for church this morning, I opted for a movie to play in the background. My three-year old son has become particularly bored with the same favorite movie. So, today I chose a childhood classic, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (Yes, the original!) I thought, “He’s obsessed with candy, he should surely like this one!”.

I moved about the house in a shuffle to shower, gather nice clothes (and extra nice clothes), snacks, activities, breakfast, etc. I’m sure most caregivers of little ones can relate. Now I’ll be honest, I never paid much attention to certain scenes of this movie. In my shuffling about, a particular song stopped me in my tracks which caused me to realize how much I had missed. 

Charlie’s grandpa Joe is bed-bound for most of the opening movie. Until he comes to the realization that Charlie found the last of the “golden tickets”. He exclaims, “Look at me!-Hopping about- I haven’t done this in twenty years!” With an eyebrow raised I thought to myself, “How absurd!” Then, Grandpa Joe, proceeds to sing, I’ve Got a Golden Ticket, with joyful glee and moving his body about in ways he apparently hadn’t done in twenty years.

Most assuredly, I’ve complained the past couple weeks how I’ve felt like my mind has been in a fog. I have felt extremely exhausted round the clock. It didn’t matter how much or little sleep I had. I even changed my diet for the better, due to other unforseen circumstances. And yet, day in and day out my mind has been in overdrive while the rest of me tries to catch up.

Until this morning. Until Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Until “Grandpa Joe”. Until the Holy Spirit. Until I heard the same familiar whisper again repeating, “strongholds”.  Then, my mind was no longer in a fog. And the message was crystal clear.

In an effort to do, to perform, to strive to exist in any given day, I’ve created my own strongholds. I’ve built up my own fortified walls in order to protect my own heart and my own mind from being attacked. Except, there is only so much that I can do as mere human being. I’m not meant to take upon myself, by myself, such critical responsibility.

In creating strongholds, I’ve neglected one crucial component. I’ve left God on the other side of those fortified walls. I now understood “Grandpa Joe”. I realized I had become bed-bound; falling into the same patterns as I have for the past twenty-or-so years of my life. I have my “good days”, and essentially I turn away God by saying, “No thanks, I can do this in my own strength.” How absurd! Because I can promise I have zero strength or defense without the Lord God Himself.

My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.- Psalms 73:26 NKJV, (emphasis mine)

I’ve allowed myself to be a victim. I’ve listened to the lies of the enemy saying, “you’ve got this” when in reality I don’t. So there I lay bed-bound, in my own fortress, with my mind in a fog.

Here’s the thing. All I have needed to do is to throw back those covers and “hop” out of bed. Then, ask the Holy Spirit to “come over here and help me”- “be my defense”.

We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.- 2 Corinthians 10:3‭-‬5 NLT, (emphasis mine)

I should be singing with joyful glee and moving about spiritually, mentally, and physically in ways I never have before.

Sing to the Lord! Praise the Lord! For though I was poor and needy, he rescued me from my oppressors.- Jeremiah 20:13 NLT

I’ve got a golden ticket. His name is Jesus. He’s given me an all-access pass to royal treatment as a child in God’s kingdom. And I am the final winner. Not without Jesus. But because of Jesus.

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Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.- Ephesians 1:11, 2:6, 8-9 NLT, (emphasis mine)

No Longer a Worrier

A routine occurrence in our home is nap time around noon for our toddler. He has been spoiled by my husband and I as we lay with him until he falls asleep. Every day without fail, our toddler tosses and turns during his fight against sleep.

Sometimes this is due to him acting silly, other times this is due to him being seriously cranky. But, every time, he gets himself in a twisted mess amidst his favorite blankie. He usually cries or shouts that he’s stuck. To which I reply, “If you will hold still, I will fix your blankie for you”.

I can strangely relate with my toddler in this routine affair. I daily toss and turn worries around in my mind. It’s a fight against my own thought processes.

These worries can be as silly as ‘what will others think about how my husband dresses our children in mismatched clothes?’. (I wish I were kidding!) Or, these worries can be as serious as ‘how will people in this world influence our children?’. But I get myself in a twisted mess amidst my worries, every time. When I have finally had enough of all I can handle, I cry or shout to God. To which He replies,

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.- Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

The meaning behind being still is being silent, at rest, holding peace. This is directly opposite of having a worrying state of mind. In fact, God’s Word commands me, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”- Philippians 4:6 (NLT).

Let that sink in. Don’t worry about anything. Whether silly or serious, He’s saying, ‘not a single thing’! Again, He says, “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.”- Psalm 37:7 (NLT). I am not called to be a ‘Worrier’. But, I am called to be a ‘Warrior’.

When I finally allowed my mind to be still, I was reminded that God equips me for whatever I am warring against. “Now may the God of peace.. equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ…”- Hebrews 13:20-21 (NIV). And, a warrior is equipped with proper training and given armor and weaponry.

It’s true! God gives me proper training through the reading, understanding, acceptance, and application of His holy scripture. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV). 

And, He gives me the proper armor and weaponry to be protected as I stand still in Him. “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”- Ephesians 6:10-11, 14-17 (NLT). 

No matter the circumstances, I must remain still and trust God to fight for me. I must utilize the proper equipment to identify whatever I am warring against in my mind and to stand protected. I need not to be a ‘Worrier”. He has given me everything I need to be a Warrior!

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“Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.”- Psalm 144:1-2 (NIV)

New Year, Renewed Me!

When I think of ringing in the new year, my first thoughts focus on the phrase “New Year, New Me!”. This lead me to ponder, ‘What it is that I would like to be new with me?’.

Outwardly speaking, a new hair style and color. Getting fit with a structured exercise regime. Eating healthier and wiser while cutting out an excess amount of harmful foods. However, while these things are beneficial or ideal for society, I’m actually more concerned about what’s going on inside of me.

Lately, I’ve felt that it would be much better for me to start over. For instance, those things I’ve said and done that I wish I never did or could take back. A blank slate would feel appropriate- a new me.

But as is seen in times past, I can make proclamations to be different from who I once was and not see a lasting change. These so-called, “resolutions” have good intentions that soon fade away.

I decided a new year isn’t all about what I can do to be “new“. A new year is essentially a spin off of my old self. It’s a continuation of who I already am. With that said, a new year is a grandeur opportunity for me to be “renewed“. You see, it’s not about changing who I am. It’s about challenging myself to be who I want to become.

This revelation is not my own. God showed me that I should find joy in who I am, because He created me. When I accepted Christ as my Savior, He made me new then.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!- 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

My new life in Christ has already begun. Each day is a continuation of that new life He began in me. I am lovingly reminded to look to Him to continue His renewing in me. A complete transformation, or a renovation, if you will.

..Though our bodies are dying, our spirits [inner man] are being renewed every day.- 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NLT)

Isn’t it just like God to equip us for every single, little (or big) thing we could ever need?! Here’s His promise to the inner man:

Mind- Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.- Romans 12:2 (NIV) 

Heart- Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me. ..grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.- Psalm 51:10, 12 (NIV)

Strength- but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.- Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

This person that I want to become is the image of God- truly righteous and holy. The challenge, then, is to follow His truths- day in and day out. I am already given the tools I need to be renewed. I just have to trust in His promises.

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Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.- Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)

 

Who am I?

Negative thoughts often cling to my mind like a death grip. I’m particularly haunted by the lies of failure, unworthiness, and loneliness. This concerns some big areas of my life, or even the core of my very being. There’s a constant battle with these thoughts and what God’s truth reveals in His word.

One of the biggest areas is my role as a homemaker. This path wasn’t always destined to be for me. I spent six years in school to earn my Master’s Degree in Speech-Language Pathology. I was career oriented, and worked for almost 5 years in my field of expertise. It wasn’t until my seventh month of pregnancy that my husband and I decided it was more financially beneficial for me to stay home. Because of this, I often feel like a failure. Largely in student loan debt, I am not contributing to our family’s finances.

However, according to scripture I am a work of art- a showpiece of God’s creation. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.- Ephesians 2:10 (NLT). There is no failure in a masterpiece. And I can rely on the promise that God is constantly at work within me, perfecting His masterpiece, until Jesus comes! (Philippians 1:6).

Another area is my role in relationships with others. I can be impatient, argumentative, and controlling. My husband naturally yields patience. Our child is pleasant and content in character. My family lends overwhelming support. My friends offer kindness, compliments, and praise. Thus, feelings of unworthiness take over my mind. How do I deserve to be surrounded by so much love when my personality can be sometimes unloving?

However, scripture affirms that my inner being is sacred, a dwelling place for the Holy of holies. ..For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people.- 2 Corinthians 6:16 (NLT). God sees great worth in me. He trusts me with promised treasures in this temple, and I am to guard these by the Spirit that is within me (2 Timothy 1:14).

My role as a stay-at-home mommy is another effected area. The vast majority of my family and friends work a day shift job. Since having a young child, it is difficult for me to plan social visits with people in the evenings. My child follows an early bedtime routine, and changing that course could result in a challenging night’s rest. This tends to breed the feeling of loneliness. I often feel isolated, being cooped up in a house with minimal adult interaction.

However, I am promised in scripture that I have an extended network of family. See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!..- 1 John 3:1 (NLT). I have a heavenly Father who has promised to never leave or abandon me (Deutoronomy 31:6). And since I’m adopted into sonship through Jesus Christ, I have brothers and sisters in Christ (Ephesians 1:4-5), thus never being alone.

You see, it wouldn’t matter where I’m at in life, what I’m doing with my life, or who is in my life. Negative thoughts are constantly threatening to attack my mind. That’s because the enemy is always on the prowl, looking for whom he can destroy (1 Peter 5:8). And if I am not properly equipped to identify these lies, I would become victim to its destruction. And maybe you face this battle, too. But, there are beautiful truths given to us, by God’s word, to properly equip us! Praise be to God!

Friends, I pray that we daily take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I pray that God imparts to us wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of who He says we are (Proverbs 2:6). I pray that we live loved (1 John 4:16), because that is the most important essence of who we really are!

What negative thoughts are at battle in your mind? What truths from God’s word do you cling to in order to defeat the lies in your mind?

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“For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.”- 1 Corinthians 2:11-12 (NIV)