Learning from Seasons: Praising in Pause or Prosperity

Honestly, the last thing I want to give is another opinion about the pandemic going on in this world today. Personally, I’ve felt confused causing waves of anxiety to come at me. I’ve felt at a loss for words, and quite frankly, for any understanding regarding the current situation.

As I scrolled through social media this morning, I noticed consistent patterns in people’s posts. Well, at least the posts I could see. Good, bad or indifferent, it all revolved around the coronavirus (Covid-19).

When I looked at the calendar, I noticed today marks the first day of spring. But, there were no social media posts to reflect that. The darkness and uncertainty of what’s happening in the world around me tries to swallow up any bit of light and newfound hope. But, I felt this tug upon my heart to shift my perspective towards what is represented by patterns in seasons.

You see in the winter season, there seems to be a pause, or a stillness. The leaves die off of trees and flowers are not in bloom. Some animals hibernate or move South. There’s a dryness and chill in the air. What is visibly seen are ordinary colors in nature and much is not pleasing to the eye.

However, the winter season is not void of life. One, of many things, that is truly worthy of praise. The trees themselves are very much alive and there are cold-resistant plants that thrive. There’s a different, colorful species of birds that emerge, and other natural life flourishes during the winter months. Life in bloom may be at a standstill, but hope is not lost.

I’m moved within my spirit from anxiety to peace concerning the world’s current circumstances. Sure there’s been a shift in what society describes as “normalcy”. We are all left in a darkness with uncertainty about what the future holds. Life in bloom maybe at a standstill, but hope is not lost. I am reminded that both light and hope are found in the Lord. And these trying times cause me to shift my gaze towards the emergence of new life.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.- 1 Peter 1:3‭-‬6 NLT [emphasis mine]

From the perspective of which seasons were created, we can look at the pattern associated  with this first day of spring. It brings with it the hope of life in bloom- prosperity. Much more reason to praise! In fact, scripture adequately describes this “Hope for Restoration” in Isaiah 35.

Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days. The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses. Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy! … There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God. With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.” And when he comes, he will open the eyes of the blind and unplug the ears of the deaf. The lame will leap like a deer, and those who cannot speak will sing for joy! Springs will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams will water the wasteland. Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return. They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness.- Isaiah 35:1‭-‬6‭, ‬10 NLT [emphasis mine]

Whether in a season of pause, as in the stillness of winter, or a season of prosperity, as in the hope of spring, one thing remains. To praise our Lord Jesus. For He is peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). For He is light in the darkness (John 8:12). For He is the source of hope (Psalm 71:5). For He is eternal life (1 John 5:11-12).

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To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, And nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.- Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11‭, ‬14 NKJV

Divine Appointment

Recently, I celebrated another birthday. 31 years to be exact. My husband asked me what I wanted as a gift, but I hadn’t thought much about it. I mean, we just had a baby less than two months ago. My mind has been focused on nourishing and care taking. My birthday was the least of my priorities!

However, his persistence caused me to ponder. I recognized that I wasn’t in need of anything. I joked, “I really could use a good massage”. Then I realized, maybe I wasn’t joking at all! I really wanted a good massage, as I had been experiencing some tightness and pain in my right shoulder.

It eventually dawned on me that a friend from my church is certified in therapeutic massage and bodywork. So, I called her up to schedule an appointment. Little did I realize that my session would be more than just a physical intervention. Instead, it was a divine appointment-meant to spiritually intervene and heal my soul.

Upon beginning, I apologized to her for sweating so badly. She replied by saying that I need not apologize as my body is a temple of the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19). I’ve heard that scripture numerous times in my life. However, it never resonated more to me than it did in that moment. I meditated upon those words. In combination with the therapeutic massage and her welcomed prayers, the Holy Spirit had given me some revelations about my temple.

I saw three versions of myself in different rooms of my body’s temple. These rooms each represented relationships:

The first version walked through the threshold of a room titled, ‘Unforgiveness’. The walls were enveloped with ‘taking offenses’ and ‘holding grudges’. I had specifically taken offense to a friend who spoke an ugly lie about me. I instantly held a grudge against her. Anytime I heard her name I cringed inside. And as a result, I had a hard time forgiving her.

The second version walked through the threshold of a room titled, ‘Anger’. The walls were concealed with ‘spiteful thoughts’ and ‘sharp words’. I was reminded of a loved one that I’ve known throughout her lifetime. Over the years, situations developed that made my anger intensify more toward her. Every time I talked about her with someone else, I generated spiteful thoughts and spewed sharp words.

The third version walked through the threshold of a room titled, ‘Control’. The walls were masked with ‘perfectionism’ and ‘high expectations’. I discovered how I deprived a loved one of his control because I always tried to control all matters. I agonized over perfectionism and high expectations in an attempt to magnify myself and be in control.

Once I entered these rooms, the doors were locked behind me from the outside. And, I was holding its keys inside. I could see myself screaming, begging to be let out. So, I began to pray within, “God I surrender all of my strongholds to you”. Those “rooms” were indeed my strongholds; “anything on which one relies”. I relied on the unforgiveness, anger and control, instead of relying on God. I clenched the keys that belong to the rooms of my temple, instead of handing over the keys to the Holy Spirit.

With the help of my friend’s therapeutic massage, and her prayers joined with mine in spirit, I felt healing from within and peace. I left that day feeling changed. I knew I had made a choice to be obedient to the Word of God.

I am called to forgive. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts..- Colossians 3:12-15 (NLT)

I am called to throw off anger. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received.. Then the God of peace will be with you.- Philippians 4:8-9 (NLT)

I am called to give up control. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.- Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

Upon surrendering, I acknowledged that I wholeheartedly rely on God. I handed over the keys of my temple to the Holy Spirit. Thus, I received His promised peace.

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“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”- Romans 8:5‭-‬6 (NIV)

Gifts through Loss and Life

Last July, my family and I experienced great adversity. Creating confusion, doubts and suffering we learned of a pregnancy that had failed. In fact, I had just taken a test at home when some weeks later we were faced with our loss. I could never undermine the heartache, regardless of how premature it happened.

All in all, my heart was troubled with fear. I wanted this child so desperately. I was terrified. I was hurting. And I felt alone- even though I was not the only one suffering.

Deprived of options, we were faced to choose between a medication or surgery to further help my body deliver our child. With some support of family and friends, I opted for the surgery. Honestly, I don’t feel my mind was able to make such a rational or significant decision either way.

The day before I was scheduled for the procedure, I experienced severe physical pain. My medical provider urged me to have an ultrasound straightaway. Per protocol, I was asked to empty my bladder before the ultrasound began. And, it was there in that bathroom where I delivered our baby. Without medication, without surgery.

I will never forget what I mentally experienced and physically witnessed there. Strangely enough, once I returned for the preparation of the ultrasound I was overwhelmingly at peace. I laid there, alone, with only the technician. However, I did not feel alone as I sensed the almost tangible presence of my heavenly Father.

Reflecting upon those days of confusion, doubts and suffering, I recall willingly surrendering my personal desires to the Lord’s care. I placed the life and potential loss of this child in His hands. I cried out;

I do not understand why I’m experiencing this, and, yes, I think it’s unfair. I do not know what the future holds, but I trust in You, God. Although it is my heart’s desire to keep this child, I trust in what You can see that I do not. I leave this child in Your hands.

Then, exactly four months to the day of our loss, my husband and I learned we were pregnant again! I could never forget the day- as it was my husband’s birthday. We were overjoyed! But, every day, uncertainties crept in our minds. I learned that I could either dwell upon the uncertain, or I could delve into God’s promises that produce confidence.

So, as a person who tries to control everything, I was challenged to yield that control. I had some minor physical setbacks that I was unable to make better. It pushed me to trust in God all the more. And as a result, He made everything better for me. Facing the uncertain, I was encouraged all the more to uphold my faith in Him.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.- Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Yes, I hoped for a full-term pregnancy. My flesh was uncertain what would and could happen. However, my spirit man grew in confidence about who God is. That He is, indeed, faithful to His word.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.- Romans 8:28 NLT

This July, exactly one year to the day of our loss, I delivered our new, precious baby girl! It was truly a bittersweet moment. I can barely begin to describe the array of emotions I felt that day. I genuinely feel that not one person could write a more beautiful story of loss and life, than the story we’ve lived with God as the center of it all.

Within this past month, I’ve been blessed to acknowledge the gifts that have come through our loss. Through our confusion, doubts and suffering I’ve been able to help others cope through their heartaches. I’ve been personally strengthened in faith towards my heavenly Father. And I’ve been graced with the gift of new life.

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“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”- Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT

Peace Through the Pain of Your Past

To the one who feels unworthy. You have given your heart and body away to those you’ve loved. Time revealed that they didn’t love you back. Your vulnerability inflicted distrust toward them. Now, you’ve been left feeling dirty, insecure, and unwanted.

To the one who feels shame. It seemed as nothing you ever did was right. You consistently gave someone your all, until you became burnt out. You decided to not bother trying anymore and gave up entirely. Your once charitable heart has left you feeling hardened.

To the one who feels abandoned. You’ve journeyed a long road alone. It seemed as if no one in this world could ever understand your rejection. So, you’ve determined you’re so much better off on your own, you don’t need them anyway.

To the one who feels depressed. You have an emptiness inside. It has seemed as if there’s a hole where your heart should be. You’ve questioned whether or not you truly feel, or if you’ve become numb to all emotions.

To the one who feels abused. You have been beaten and defeated. You may have been hurt physically, mentally, or sexually. You grew to hold grudges and have hard feelings toward many. You can no longer give the benefit of the doubt. You’ve even lost hope in humanity.

Oh, my friend, I know your pain. I have been there- in every single circumstance. I, too, have searched this world high and low for love and acceptance. I’ve been damaged as a result. I, too, have wondered, “Why me?”, “What did I ever do to deserve this?”, “Where can I go from here?”, “When will it ever get better?”, “Who can save me from my pain?”.

Truth be told, searching in this world is searching in all the wrong places. I was always on the lookout for my “Prince Charming“. This left me damaged by the very character I sought after.

Someone who is charming has many good qualities- delightful, likable and pleasant, to name a few. But, there’s a catch. Another quality is that they’re tempting. A tempter entices you to do that which is evil, immoral, sinful.

The bible says the originator of temptation is the devil, Satan. Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. The tempter came to him..- Matthew 4:1&3 (NIV). Not only is he the tempter, but he is also referred to as “the god of our world“. Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe..- 2 Corinthians 4:4 (NLT). Therefore, searching for love and acceptance, in this world, will only bring about pain leading to sin acts. Thus, making an enemy with God. ..If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.- James 4:4 (NLT). 

I learned to acknowledge that I genuinely needed saving. And, there is only One who paid the ransom for my sins and the sins of others in this world . Jesus Christ was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.- Isaiah 53:5 (NIV).

With my saving came healing. It took me a long time to fully believe this promise. I have since come to the realization that I never needed a “Prince Charming”- for they themselves are virtually lead by the prince of this world. That is why I was so damaged. Instead, I needed the “Prince of Peace“, Jesus. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.- John 16:33 (NLT).

Friend, all that is required is believing and accepting Christ as your Savior. Prayer is simply open communication between you and Him. Admit to Him that you need Him and His gift of salvation. And, trust that He can bring about peace through the pain of your past.

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“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”- Galatians 2:20 (NLT)

Pointing Fingers

Why is it that the people I’m closest with are the ones I hurt the most? I seem to have this tendency of becoming frustrated very easily. I’ll point fingers at so-and-so. I’ll accuse, I’ll blame, I’ll criticize.

Out of frustration, I can become angry, bitter, and even speak ill about those whom I love. I can’t say that I’m proud of this. It’s just that in the heat of the moment I simply lose control of my emotions.

Then recently, an old saying began to replay over and over in my mind. “When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you.” Just maybe, okay truthfully, those accusations, blames, and criticisms are somewhere hidden in me.

I can’t help but wonder why I put myself up on that pedestal. The one that proclaims I’m so much better than they. When, realistically, my behaviors- as a result of frustration- only proves I’m no more righteous than they.

I had a very recent encounter with a week-long battle of anger, bitterness, and slandering the ones that I dearly love. This type of behavior only yielded the same reactions from my loved ones. I had to do something to change this. And fast.

I prayed. I humbled myself. And my answer was one of those extreme encounters with God that lead me to a greater revelation. His revelation. Humility picked me up off my pedestal and knocked me to my knees.

That old saying that kept repeating in my mind was not a new concept to God. In fact He’s the original author of it:

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.”- Matthew 7:1-2 (NLT)

Its true. When I accuse, blame, and criticize, the same will be returned to me. I quickly recognized my wrongs as sin. I confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. But I knew this was more than just an “okay, you’re good to go!” This was a real matter of a heart change that needed to take place.

The only hope for that change was surrounding myself in truth. The word of God. It’s the blueprint for all of life’s circumstances. And my change of heart was found in Ephesians 4:29-32, 5:1-2 ::

• I must quit speaking ill will and only use words that edify those around me. Not just the ones I love the most, but even my enemies (Matthew 5:43-48) too! “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”
• I must stop living a life that points fingers at others. This not only offends them, but God as well. Upon doing so, I am guaranteed grace to overcome- by the same God who gives me His grace and salvation. “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”
• I must not dwell upon those frustrations that ultimately lead me to accuse, blame, and criticize. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.”
• I must confess and ask for forgiveness from my sins. The same blessings I receive from Jesus after I’ve done wrong is to be projected from me unto others. “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

This revelation reminded me that God so loves everyone in this world, not just me. And, yes, I am esteemed, favorited, and beloved- but so are they. We are all His sons and daughters. I must “Imitate God, therefore, in everything [I] do, because [I am one of] his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.” 

Simply put, I must walk in the way of love. 

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“And so, dear friends, ..make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight.”- 2 Peter 3:14 (NLT)