A Growth Process: Transforming with Knowledge and Understanding

I feel as if I am reliving the same day over and over again. Within that concept lies another underlying problem. I’m also repeating the same things over and over again. “What did I just say?”, “Are you even listening to me?”, “How many times do I have to tell you?” are just a few of those sayings on repeat to two toddlers.

Not only am I reliving this moment by moment, day by day, but I am reliving the frustration and impatience with it all. I figure, they know these things. I’ve modeled these things to them. Yet they still don’t do it! Other words, why can’t they just match what I do and be like me?!

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. The reality is that they’re toddlers. They have a short attention span. They have not yet acquired maturity. They may have knowledge of something, but they have not received the ability to carry out that knowledge. Because the growth process entails taking time. I train, guide, and correct them until they are transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what they can be. And it’ll be a continual process.

This requires more than just knowing something in their mind. They have to understand it with their heart. Take my son for example. He is completely obsessed with construction vehicles, tractors, emergency vehicles, etc. He both knows and understands about them because he loves them so much! On the flip side, he knows about his sister’s kitty obsession, but he doesn’t understand it because it’s not something he thoroughly enjoys.

I realized the implication this had on my walk with Christ. I was striving so hard to match what I knew about Jesus. I was so hard on myself every single time I failed. On my own I could not think, say, do, and behave in such a way that mirrored Jesus. So I loathed in my condemning thoughts. “I’m just never going to be or do enough!”

Simply put, that’s an expectation that’s unachievable. I’m not meant to match Jesus, to think, say, do, and behave all in my own efforts. Only, I live through Him. I love how The Passion Translation says it like this:

“The light of God’s love shined within us when he sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through him“.- 1 John 4:9

I was, then, reminded of the account of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with His disciples (Matthew 14:13-21). At this point, the disciples knew Jesus could perform miracles. Jesus had modeled miracles before their very eyes. Then, in the very next chapter, (Matthew 15:32-39) Jesus calls His disciples to feed a different 4,000. Their response? “Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?” [-Seriously!] Sounds familiar, right?

The reality is, just like those disciples, I have not fully figured it all out. I still have to attend to Jesus. I still have maturity to acquire in Him. And while I may have knowledge of Him, I have to allow Him to help me carry out that knowledge. It’s done by gaining that understanding through deep revelation within my heart that only He can provide.

“These people honor me only with their words, for their hearts are so very distant from me. They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.” Then Jesus turned to the crowd and said, “Come, listen and open your heart to understand.”– Matthew 15:8-10 (TPT) [emphasis mine]

And it’s a growth process (aka: sanctification). He trains, guides, and corrects me as I surrender to Him and His word. Moment by moment, day by day…

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

…until I’m transformed in such a way that mirrors the potential for who and what I can be in Him.

But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (NLT)

No longer do I have to feel frustrated and impatient when my children don’t follow through with my instruction or perform to meet my expectations. Nor do I have to feel frustrated and impatient with myself when I don’t follow “having a mind like Christ” or performing like “Christ lives in me”. That type of thinking leads to striving and results in condemning thoughts. Right now, I surrender all those expectations.

I thoroughly enjoy the word of God and love Him- just as my son loves his machines! Which means I have the ability to both know and understand who Jesus is in me. I can trust His sanctifying work that is declared in Galatians 2:20, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

To my children, to myself, and to anyone who can relate to my circumstances: “Come, listen and open your heart to understand”.

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The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.- 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV).

Saying “Yes!” to Right Now

“Not right now.” I’m guilty of repetitiously quoting this phrase to my children.

Just the other day, my daughter was chasing my heels and trying to hand me a book. The same book I had already read twice before 7:30 AM. And just one of the dozens of others I knew she would hand to me thereafter. I hurriedly muttered, “Not right now, Sissy”.

Except this time, I heard an internal voice chime back at me, “If not now, then when?”. I stopped in my tracks and whispered back, “Yes, You’re totally right!”.

I decided to cease what I was doing in order to read her that book. Because I knew if I didn’t, I’d fall into my cycle of, “Mommy just needs to finish ______, and then I’ll read it to you”. And then task one morphs into task two. Task two magnifies task three. Task three trails onward to task four. And before I know it, half the day is gone and I still haven’t read that one book.

This revelation dawned on me that I don’t just fall into this cycle with my children. But I have been guilty of doing this with Almighty God. I offer up a quick “Thank You, Lord, for this day”. I check off a couple devotions. And then I move hastily to those stacked up tasks.

Though non-verbal to my daily tasks, it’s as if my actions have muttered to God’s bid for me to “Come!” with a harsh “Not right now!”. And His still, small voice acknowledges my disregard by saying, “If not now, then when?”.

Every day is a new opportunity to say to my Creator, “Yes, You’re totally right! Right now is when.”.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.- Lamentations 3:21‭-23, ‬25 ESV

The soul who seeks the Lord is one who joyously responds saying yes to right now. Here are but a few ways to do so:

• Surrender– Before the day begins, maybe even before my feet hit the floor, I can choose to yield my heart and thoughts to the Lord. So then, surrender to God. Stand up to the devil and resist him and he will turn and run away from you. Move your heart closer and closer to God, and he will come even closer to you. … Be willing to be made low before the Lord and he will exalt you!- James 4:7‭-‬8‭, ‬10 TPT
• Worship– This is more than just playing some Christian tunes and singing godly lyrics. It is a glimpse into the posture of my heart. Whatever I place the most emphasis upon is where my heart is postured. Now, with breathtaking wonder, let everyone worship Yahweh, this awe-inspiring Creator. The Lord looks over us from where he rules in heaven. Gazing into every heart … he observes all the peoples of the earth. The Creator of our hearts considers and examines everything we do. The eyes of the Lord are upon even the weakest worshipers who love him— those who wait in hope and expectation for the strong, steady love of God.- Psalms 33:8‭, ‬13‭-‬15‭, ‬18 TPT
• Prayer– I often tend to overcomplicate this one. This doesn’t have to be forcing out perfect words or meeting a specific time quota. It’s simply longing to have conversation with the Lover of my soul. … But the Holy Spirit rises up within us to super-intercede on our behalf, pleading to God with emotional sighs too deep for words. God, the searcher of the heart, knows fully our longings, yet he also understands the desires of the Spirit, because the Holy Spirit passionately pleads before God for us, his holy ones, in perfect harmony with God’s plan and our destiny.- Romans 8:26‭-‬27 TPT
  
• Gratitude– I often remember to thank God for the physical blessings I have- life, my family, a home, a car, food, clothing, etc. But, I, too, should thankfully acknowledge every spiritual blessing that’s promised to me as God’s beloved child. Let every activity of your lives and every word that comes from your lips be drenched with the beauty of our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. And bring your constant praise to God the Father because of what Christ has done for you!- Colossians 3:17 TPT
  

Before the tasks begin. In between the tasks. After the tasks are complete. -It’s not about ignoring life’s demands. But it’s also not about ignoring God’s call to “Come!”. I have found there are so many reasons and opportunities to obediently transform my heart’s response from “Not right now!” to “Yes! Right now!”.

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“Jesus said to them, “I am the Bread of Life. Come every day to me and you will never be hungry. Believe in me and you will never be thirsty. But everyone my Father has given to me, they will come. And all who come to me, I will embrace and will never turn them away.”- John 6:35, 37 TPT (bold emphasis mine)

Perfect Love: What Fuels a Tolerable Fog to a Passionate Fire

My whole life I’ve seen relationships end and rarely mend. I’ve long witnessed broken marriages. Thus, I leave this disclaimer: I am far from an expert on relationships, let alone marriage.

Then, a beautiful celebration took place one month ago as my little brother was married.  I have watched, over the past few years, how he and his new bride have grown in God and grown with one another. It was a fresh take on relationships that I hadn’t witnessed before.

I yearned for that. But that yearning quickly turned into comparing. And that comparing planted a wrongful, jealous root in my heart.

When I first met my husband, we most certainly had a passionate fire kind of love. The love like I observe between my brother and his bride. However over time, my husband and I became comfortable with one another. Our every day relations became ordinary. Until that love dwindled down to a tolerable fog.

I can admit, most often, I’ve been quick to point out everything he’s done wrong. Or that he’s lacking what I think is right. I didn’t care about the fact that I was ignoring the deliverance of love on my end. My love became conditional. If you do this, then I’ll do that. My love became obstinate. It’s either my way or no way. That’s not necessarily love.

In recognizing, repenting, and releasing my jealous heart issue to God, He shared truths with me that I needed to receive. He taught me and brought me to a new level of understanding. He gave this under-qualified wife some depth of insight into what makes my brother’s relationship with his new bride so special.

This insight shifts focus onto the Person of Jesus Christ. And He is known by the name of “the bridegroom”. He models the type of love that I yearn for. In fact, He has betrothed me, and the whole body of Christ, as His bride. Making us recipients of this unified love!

You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.– Song of Songs 4:12 NLT

This kind of love is intentional and intimate. Like the love I observe between my brother and his bride. Intentionality is defined as being “done with intention or on purpose”. Also interchangeable with “willful”. Intimacy is defined as “a close familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship”.

Contrary to being conditional and obstinate. Like the love I’ve offered my husband. I realized that by setting conditions and being obstinate, I fell into the habit of dishonoring him. I would discredit his integrity by talking ill of him. Whether under my breath or to another friend. 

The Holy Spirit has transformed my thoughts to a new understanding. Every time I dishonor my husband, I dishonor myself. For when we agreed to the covenant promise of marriage, we became unified; one.

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”– Mark 10:7-9 (NLT)

My condemning words became our own worst enemy- snuffing out the passionate fire to a fog. That unloving behavior is a component of this warning here in scripture; “let no one split apart what God has joined together”. It is most certainly a contributing factor of various reasons why many relationships come to an end.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.– Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

The love I share with my Heavenly Husband, Jesus Christ, is the perfect model for the love I can share with my earthly husband. And this love can be taken a step further by the love I share with the Church; the body of Christ, (His bride).

[Jesus speaking] “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.– John 17:20-23 (NLT)

This love doesn’t ever become comfortable. It’s transformative. It doesn’t dwindle to a tolerable fog. It fuels the passionate fire. It is willfully choosing to intentionally love. It is becoming relationally familiar by intimate love.

That same love I witness between my brother and his bride? It’s found here. Growing deeper in love with the Perfect Man, Jesus Christ. Who cultivates that same love I can so tenderly yield to others.

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I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.- Ephesians 3:16-19 (NLT)

Growing Pains

My son is now a toddler. And on occasion, he experiences some restless nights. During this time, he might wake frequently with crying outbursts. This could be due to his body stretching some in length. Or, he may be encountering the last of his baby teeth cutting through his gums. It is no wonder, as his little body is enduring some growing pains. The good news is there are remedies to relieve him of these pains!

While currently pregnant, I, too, have endured some growing pains of my own. As my belly gets bigger, other body parts tend to ache more quickly than they once did. While driving, if I sit up too erect then my stomach begins cramping. I have to recline my seat back in order to relieve pressure. My feet become sore easily from standing too long, which can be easily rectified by taking breaks to sit. If I sleep on my back at night, it begins to hurt from the weight of my growing baby. I can find comfort from the full-length body pillows that support my back!

Well.. It should come as no surprise to me that when I grow spiritually I also may endure some pains. As my spirit man grows, myself (flesh) has to diminish. I am coming to understand that living by the Spirit is giving Him control and allowing myself to relinquish control. He must become greater; I must become less.- John 3:30 (NIV).

Living for my flesh is for selfish gain. For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us..- Romans 7:5(NIV). Selfishness is in direct opposition to what God’s Word commands. And if I continue to live by my flesh, then I am not in full accordance with the Spirit of God. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh..- Galatians 5:17 (NIV). 

I am instructed to crucify the desires of my flesh. Indeed, with this comes pain. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.- Galatians 5:24 (NIV). In this context, this is a metaphor that suggests this: “to crucify the flesh, destroy its power utterly (the nature of the figure implying that the destruction is attended with intense pain)”. [Reference Here]

The good news is there is a remedy to relieve me of these pains! I can walk in freedom knowing that my selfish, sinful flesh was already crucified by the sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.- Galatians 2:20 (NIV).

Once my mind is transformed to receive this truth, I can truly live in full accordance with the Spirit of God! But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.- Romans 7:6 (NIV).

It’s true, through my previous pain I can experience a transforming growth. A growth that produces much fruit. Though, not by myself but by the Spirit who lives in me. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!- Galatians 5:22&23 (NLT). For by relinquishing my control I acknowledge that it is by God I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). 

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“So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. ..Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.”- Hebrews 6:1&12 (NLT)